The Traveller's Travelogue
This is the world as I see it.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Silence
Here's a dedication
Footprints on the white sandy trail
The foam crashes softly against us
Holding hands we stand
The sun dips softly down
Extinguishing with a soft hiss
We locked in an eternal kiss
The moon smiles on us
Blesses us
Blankets us in its silvery white drape
Seeking to protect us
From harm around us
Into the hammock we lay
Looking into each others' eyes
and not much to say
Footprints in the sandy trail
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Forgiveness and Cheating II
If I were in your place .....
I believe that phrase should be wiped off from the English language since it so misused. Usually this abominable phrase signifies that someone has made a blunder when considering the best course of action when presented with a dilemma e.g.
Person 1: It was either me taking all that abuse at this job or settling for a lower paid one. I chose the lower paid one.
Person 2: Are you nuts?! Don't you see the economy is so bad? If I were in your place ....
We all know what Person 2 would have done now don't we? A lot of people seem to froget when saying that phrase (If I were in your place) that had they been in the place of the other they would have done exactly as the other person would have done, because all the factors don't change and they would have come to the same conclusion. Person 2 seems to forget that had they been Person 1's position the external and internal factors that Person 1 is facing would still be the same the only thing that has changed would be the physical presence of Person 2 instead of Person 1. Two different objects occupy unique spaces in time and no one else can occupy that space except for the designated object. It's like a lock and key; one unique design fits a specific lock, so too is one unique event specific to a definite person. You can change that person with Tom, Dick or Harry and the result would be the same, the only thing that has changed would be the outward appearance the inward experience remains the same no matter what. So had Person 2 in some way taken up Person 1's space he would have be subjected to the forces of Person 1 and therefore arriving at the same conclusion as that of Person 1.
Next time, don't say that "had you been in the other's place" you would have done so and so because that is impossible. You would have ended up doing the exact same thing. Instead it would be much better to say "Had I your options I would have chosen so and so" because that shifts the focus from the unique place (which is occupied by one specific person at any one time) with constant forces (internally and externally) to a unique experience to a different place, and thus you would be entitled to tell us how you would have reacted had the options been presented to you.
Monday, May 07, 2007
The question of democracy
de·moc·ra·cy noun, plural -cies.
1. government by the people; a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system.
2. a state having such a form of government: The United States and Canada are democracies.
3. a state of society characterized by formal equality of rights and privileges.
4. political or social equality; democratic spirit.
5. the common people of a community as distinguished from any privileged class; the common people with respect to their political power
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
The above is an entry for the word "democracy" which is being so freely thrown about these days that it has almost lost its meaning. What is democracy? What does it mean? Technically and spiritually? In short it is the rule of the majority, where what the majority says goes but then again that makes one wonder about the adage "might is right". Wouldn't that be an example of exerting undue influence on some other party, the minority? Some people say 51% is a majority others put it at two thirds of the constituency. Are both majorities? In their own right they are. How do we go about defining what democracy is.
I would like to say that democracy is what the people want whether implicit or otherwise. By not voicing your opinion or choice you are tacitly agreeing with the majority. There is no enforcement of the majority's opinion in such a case. What if the majority seeks to impress upon the minority a law that the minority do not agree to? At that point democracy ceases and an autcracy reigns. Though on paper such a system maybe termed as a democracy it is in spirit not a democracy any longer. Though in line with the definition of the majority rule, this interpretation forgets to include the humanistic aspect of governance; because after all we are dealing with human beings and to try to think of anything related to humans without an empathetic and humanly touch is gross misinwhen ice water is splashed across his face. Another example is how the US and Israel is not recognising the Hamas government even though they were elected democratically. What I am trying to get at is that in all these examples the people were/are happy with the forms of their government and for other powers to intervene and tell the people "No, we know what is better for you" is not right and is not at all democratic. It goes against the very spirit of democracy to deny these minorities if they do not want to be governed the democratic way. If a country says we want to be governed by the age-old monarchy then so be it, the majority has spoken in this case and the monarchy was democratically "elected".
So in short, I want people to take a harder look at this concept and redefine it because democracy doesn't mean elections, a premiership, a senate, etc. democracy may lead to rule that is undemocratic as per the definition just like the example I gave above of the elected monarchy.terpretation of the issue and also a very cold system indeed. So indeed there must be checks and balances that ensure that the minority are not overlooked and their rights are not subjected to exploitation, and they are given respect and equality in all manners.
This is one of the reasons why the world is in such shambles. We have certain majorities trying to impose their will on the will of others whether these subjected people agree to this plan or not. Consider for a moment how the US is trying to invest so heavily in marketing "democracy" to Afganistan and Iraq. It will be without a doubt a massive undertaking as most of these people have had no experience with democracy as such and to impose suddenly upon them democratic rule is like a drugged man woken up
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Lend me Your Ears
Friday, April 20, 2007
Grey Matters
Then there are the shady areas. The not so distinct areas where right and wrong have conveniently mingled and given us a hybrid progeny known popularly as the "grey area". And the lines seem to fade away and the concepts of right and wrong are written over each other to reveal a palimpsest, thereby making it harder for us to base make a decision. When treading through such an area one has to be very careful as one can not side with what's right and what's wrong because there is no right and wrong anymore. One MUST exercise judiciousness in such locales.
So what to do? Which option shall we go for? They may all seem right and none may seem wrong. Flip side: they may all seem wrong and none may seem right. Confusion and utter chaos ensue in the mind. The best thing I would suggest in such a case is to opt for the most practical option but trying to at the same time to make a right choice too.
Let me illustrate with an example. Say a beggar comes to you with the usual request for charity. Now we enter the grey area. It is not binding upon us to pay him to relieve him of his woes but at the same time if we don't then we feel morally responsible. If we don't pay him it's not as if we are benefiting him in fact some people say we are harming him more by robbing him of his initiative. Others say we must give him the money to help him alleviate his troubles upto a point thereafter from where he will work his way up. Both arguments are sound but are they both correct? Are they both wrong? It's really hard to say. So what is the best way out of this dilemma. We can all come up with different ways to approach this problem and solve it in the best possible way. Some will just dish out the money others won't. Some will give the money but not before parting with some advice and empowering words to help them uplift their spirits. Some will help them get some way for them to start work. Whatever is the way I feel there must be some sound reasoning and judgement to base their decision which have a positive effect overall. If you think giving money will have a positive effect and believe in that then go for it. If you believe not giving any money will be more helpful then opt for that. If you believe giving advice is more beneficial then that is your "dao". Your mantra maybe helping them find work but whatever make sure it is based on an honest conviction to your basic ideals of right and wrong !
Friday, April 06, 2007
Politics
A few years later, whilst still in college, I thought it was time for me to try and make a difference. After all I had some experience as college student and naturally wanted my successors to benefit if there was something I could offer. At that point my opinion towards politics had also changed, I felt that by letting the “dirty” managers a free reign I was more or less letting them do their job and there was no one to question them and Edmund Burke quite succinctly said, “It is necessary for the good man to do nothing for evil to triumph.” Since I was a novice in this area of responsibility I thought it would be best to indulge into something non-political in nature and an organization that tries to offer the best for its constituents, one that tries to cater to essential and important needs like the welfare of students or along those lines.
What I am trying to hint at is really that we all should try to take a more active role in politics and try to affect some change. Sitting on our behinds and acting like arm-chair theorists and providing solutions is not going to bring about some change. There is no change without some sort of effort. The reason for me relating my experiences here is to illustrate at how wrong my misconception was for not indulging into something like this earlier. I truly felt remorse for not having done so because I could have learnt so much and not only that I would have been able to bring about some change too. Another belief that I came to formulate was that if you are not going to do anything, or have done anything in the past, about a situation then you should not bother criticizing, since that really makes one question your motives if you are sincere enough or not in that particular cause. The right to criticize should be given to those who actually do something about or try to bring about some change. Those who want to just sit and be heard I think it would be best to take them to a TV studio and have the “audience”, “applaud” them whenever they make a point. So let’s get moving folks!
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Myths and Mythbusters
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Forgiveness and cheating
Pearls of wisdom I say those are and I think it is very important that we remember such words. He also said to us in regards to cheating, "You do not cheat me but you cheat yourself, because come the exam time it will show." I have always taken his advice to heart especially the one about owning up, because he is right, that in a society where people look to every opportunity to get away with things if one person stands up and admits to their faults and how their actions have affected others we should laud them although that doesn't mean they should go scot-free. There will be times where they will be allowed to walk away as was my teacher's policy but at other times when the damage is more extensive there must be some for of retribution and if that person is sincere about his apology they would not mind facing the guillotine.
About forgiveness, I also think that the person who is forgiving then must not base and judge their opinion of the other party on that one mistake by that I mean that just because they did something wrong you should not hold it against them otherwise your forgiveness would have been a mere act and not followed up with deed. Say if you thought highly of a person and they did something to hurt/harm you and you forgive them, then your forgiveness would be true if and only if you are able to think about that person the same way you thought about them before they carried out the misdeed. I think that is very important to follow up your words with your deeds. The person asking for forgiveness should be sincere enough to follow up their words with some suitable action or gesture because they have a responsibility to resume relations on the same level just as the person who is forgiving, in fact the person who is asking for forgiveness should take more of the responsibility in trying to resume relations at the same level.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Is the world fair?
If life is not fair how can I say then life is? Well seeing that we all have different talents to different capacities, it is one of our jobs as human beings to set the scales aright. That is why we are given these different talents in varying degrees. Now if you don't use those talents to even out the playing field then what you have created my friend is an unfair life! We all might think and say that we do not need to do all this i.e. straighten the kinks and chinks of life, but my friend if you don't then you are creating the very situation you detest! What goes around comes around most definitely at one point or another in our lives and if we shy away from the responsibility of using our talents to help others out then that talent will come back and haunt us. So next time you frown upon the guy who's asking you for a few bucks to eat why don't you take it up on yourself to teach him how not to ask but to do.
Friday, March 23, 2007
The Death of Shaikh Burhanuddin Expounded
Set during the partition of the Indian Subcontient; this story takes places Delhi and depicts the common sentiments at the time of the partition of both the Muslims and Hindus & Sikhs. It is a well known fact that two provinces suffered greatly due to the partition, the Punjab and Bengal. Parts were given to Pakistan and the rest stayed in the new nation of India of course as history took its course the East Pakistan province of Bengal seceded to form their own independent nation; Bangladesh. If one looks closely then one can see that the Brits did a great disservice to these people by splitting the same people, linguistically and culturally speaking, on either side of what was to be a hostile border. No other provinces suffered such an excruciating punishment at the hands of the imperialists.
Back to the story though; what we have here is a very down to earth record of what could have been (after all it is a fictional expose) but nonetheless serves to show us many things all at once, hence its power as a short story. It shows how an Urdu-speaking (please people let's not get ahead of ourselves here, I am using the epithet merely to show the common prejudices at that time which sadly linger on to this day as well) clerk by the name of Shaikh Burhanuddin despises the Hindus and Sikhs and you can be assured that there were many Hindus and Sikhs who despised the Muslims as well so this was quite a common phenomenon at that time where people feared and hated each other based on nothing more than conjecture. It is interesting to note that Shaikh Burhanuddin hates the English too but found his ways to be more civil; now that is a completely subjective observation on his part because he finds them to be civil because that is how he was brought up. Had he been brought up in Sikh or Hindu ways of civility then he would have found the English way strange! It is true too because by and large the present day Pakistani community shows traces of Hindu culture in many of their ceremonies such as marriage and when they see an English wedding they are shocked at how someone can carry out a wedding in a few hours and not over three days!
Burhanuddin also dislikes Muslim Punjabis in general because he cannot fathom their culture and language as well, though not as much as the Hindus and Sikhs. We can see how one's training and brainwashing can lead one to make stupid mistakes in their lives as Burhanuddin starts giving ridiculous explanations to many of the happenings at that time. He states how the Sikhs would have murdered their own kind to vilify the Muslims whereas such a thought is pretty stupid and he also shows that the Muslims were some kind of brave warriors who wooed and wowed the maidens of the enemies to live with them. Laughable at best but the fact is that such beliefs have been present in many human communities for a very long time just so that the world of lies that one lives in keep standing on its weak structures and foundations! His world of lies lies in tatters and ruins as the good Sardarji gives his life in order to protect this one man. Burhanuddin is shocked and dumfounded at this moment and questions the Sikh why he did that. The good Sikh replies that he had a debt to pay and that a man named Ghulam Rasul, who was a mutual acquaintance, did the same.
Now it is very interesting to note that the writer did not give an account of how Ghulam Rasul saved the life, who like the writer happens to be a Muslim. So why was the writer giving an account of the other side? My feeling is that he felt it was his duty to show to the world that not everyone is like the stereotypes they project and that there will always be someone who goes against the grain of his society to stand up for what is right. The story was titled as "The Death of Shaikh Burhanuddin" by Singh, whereas its real title is "Sardarji" when written by Abbas, but I think it should be renamed to "The Birth of Shaikh Burhanuddin" because like the birth of a child, Burhanuddin's inception into the cruel and cold world was very violent indeed and like a slap on his face (as a doctor does to wake up the baby from its sleep) he too woke up and saw his hate was baseless.
Very powerful what words can do.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
The Death of Shaikh Burhanuddin
My hatred for the Sikhs began on the day when I first set my eyes on one. I could not have been more than six years old when I saw a Sikh sitting out in the sun combing his long hair. “Look!” I yelled with revulsion, “a woman with a long beard!” As I got older this dislike developed into hatred for the entire race.
It was a custom amongst old women of our household to heap all afflictions on our enemies. Thus, for example, if a child got pneumonia or broke its leg, they would say, ‘a long time ago a Sikh (or an Englishman), got pneumonia: or a long time ago a Sikh (or an Englishman) broke his leg’. When I was older I discovered that this referred to the year 1857 when the Sikh princes helped the ferringee foreigner – to defeat the Hindus and Muslims in the War of Independence. I do not wish to propound a historical thesis but to explain the obsession, the suspicion and hatred which I bore towards the English and the Sikhs. I was more frightened of the English than of the Sikhs.
When I was ten years old, I happened to be traveling from Delhi to Aligarh. I used to travel third class, or at most in the intermediate class. That day I said to myself, “Let me for once travel second class and see what it feels like.” I bought my ticket and found an empty second class compartment. I jumped on the well-sprung seats; I went into the bathroom and leapt up to see my face in the mirror; I switched on all the fans. I played with the light switches. There were only a couple of minutes for the train to leave when four red-faced ‘tommies’ burst into the compartment, mouthing obscenities: everything was either ‘bloody’ or ‘damn’. I had one look at them and my desire to travel second class vanished.
I picked up my suitcase and ran out. I only stopped for a breath when I got into a third class compartment crammed with natives. But as luck would have it, it was full of Sikhs – their beards hanging down to their navels and dressed in nothing more than their underpants. I could not escape from them: but I kept my distance.
Although, I feared the white man more than the Sikhs, I felt that he was more civilized: he wore the same kind of clothes as I. I also wanted to be able to say ‘damn’, ‘bloody fool’ – the way he did and like him I wanted to belong to the elite and ruling class. The Englishman ate his food with forks and knives so that natives would natives would look upon me as advanced and as civilized as the Whiteman.
My Sikh-phobia was of a different kind, I had contempt for the Sikh; I was amazed at the stupidity of men who imitated women and grew their hair long. I must confess I did not like my hair cut too short; despite my father’s instructions to the contrary, I did not allow the barber to clip off more than a little when I went on Fridays. I grew a mop of hair so that when I played hockey or football it would blow about in the breeze like those of English sportsmen. My father often asked me, “Why do you let your hair grow like a woman’s?” My father had primitive ideas and I took no noticeof his views. If he had had his way he would have had all heads razored bald and stuck artificial beards on people’s chin; that reminds me, that the second reason for hating the Sikhs was their beards which made them look like savages.
There are beards and beards. There was my father’s beard, neatly trimmed in the French style; or my uncle’s which went into a sharp point under his chin. But what could you do with a beard to which no scissor was ever applied and which was allowed to grow like a wild bush? Fed with a compost of oil, curd and goodness knows what! And, after it had grown a few feet, combed like hair on a head. My grandfather also had a very long beard which he combed, but then again my grandfather was my grandfather and a Sikh, well is just a Sikh.
After I had passed my matriculation examination I was sent to the Muslim University at Aligarh. We boys who came from Delhi, or the United Provinces, looked down upon boys from the Punjab; they were crude rustics who did not know how to converse, how to behave at a table, or to deport themselves in polite company. All they could was drink large tumblers of lassi (buttermilk), delicacies such as vermicelli with essence of kewra sprinkled on it or the aroma of Lipton’s tea were alien to the. Their language was unsophisticated to the extreme, whenever they spoke to each other it seemed as if they were quarreling. It was full of “ussi (us), tusi (you), saadey (ours), twhaadey (yours),” heaven forbid, but I kept my distance from them too.
But the warden of our hostel (May God forgive him), gave me a Punjabi as a roommate. When I realized that there was no escape, I decided to make the best of a bad bargain and be civil to the chap. After a few days we became quite friendly, this man was called Ghulam Rasul and we was from Rawalpindi and was full of amusing anecdotes and made a good companion.
You might well ask how Mr. Ghulam Rasul gate-crashed into a story about the Sikhs but the fact of the matter was that Ghulam Rasul’s anecdotes were usually about Sikhs. It is through these anecdotes that I got to know the racial characteristics, the habits and curstoms of this strange community. According to Ghulam Rasul the chief characteristics of the Sikhs were the following:
All Sikhs were stupid and idiotic and at noontime they lost their senses altogether and there were many instances to prove this. For example, one day at noon, a Sikh was cycling along Hall Bazaar in Amritsar when a constable, also a Sikh stopped him and demanded, “Where is your light?” To which the cyclist replied nervously, “Jemandar Sahib, I lit it when I left my home; it must have gone out just now.” The constable threatened to run him in but a passerby, another Sikh but with a long white beard, intervened, “Brothers, there is no point in quarrelling over little things. If the light has gone out it can be lit again.”
Ghulam Rasul knew hundreds of anecdotes of this kind and when he related them in his native Punjabi accent his audience was left helpless with laughter. One really enjoyed them best in Punjabi because of the strange and incomprehensible behaviour of the uncouth Sikh was best told in his rustic lingo.
The Sikhs were not only stupid but incredibly filthy as well. Ghulam Rasul, who had known hundreds of them, told us how they never shaved their heads and whereas we Muslims washed our hair thoroughly at least every Friday, the Sikhs who made a public exhibition of bathing in their underpants, poured all kinds of filth, like curd into their hair. I rub lime-juice and glycerine in my scalp, although the glycerine is white and thick like curd, it is a totally different thing altogether – made by a well-known firm of perfumers of Europe. My glycerine came in lovely bottle whereas the Sikh’s curd came from the shop of a dirty sweetmeat seller.
I would not have concerned myself with the manner of living of these people except that they were so haughty and ill-bred as to consider themselves as good warriors as the Muslims. It is known over the world world that one Muslim can get the better of ten Hindus or Sikhs but these Sikhs would not accept the superiority of the Muslim and would strut about like bantam cocks twirling their moustaches and stroking their beards. Ghulam Rasul used to say that one day we Muslims would teach the Sikhs a lesson that they would never forget.
Years went by.
I left college and ceased to be a student and became a clerk and later a head clerk. I left Aligarh and came to live in New Delhi and was allotted government quarters, in that time I got married and eventually had children.
The quarters next to mine were occupied by a Sikh who had been displaced from Rawalpindi. Despite the passage of years, I remembered what Ghulam Rasul had told me and as he prophesised, the Sikhs had been taught a bitter lesson in humility at least at Rawalpindi. The Muslims had virtually wiped them out and the Sikhs boasted that they were great heroes, they flaunted their long kirpans but they could not withstand the brave Muslims. The Sikhs’ beards were forcibly shaved, they were circumcised, and they were converted to Islam. The Hindu press, as was its wont, vilified the Muslims, it reported that the Muslims had murdered Sikh women and children. This was wholly contrary to Islamic tradition; no Muslim warrior was ever known to raise his hand against a woman or a child. The pictures of the corpses of women and children published in Hindu newspapers were obviously faked and I wouldn’t have put it beyond the Sikh to murder their own women and children in order to vilify the Muslims.
The Muslims were also accused of abducting Hindu and Sikh women but truth be told such was the valour of the Muslims that the womenfolk of the Hindus and Sikhs fell in love with their vanquishers and went off with them. These noble-minded young men had no option but to give them shelter and this bring them to the true pat of Islam. The bubble of Sikh bravery was burst, it didn’t matter how their leaders threatened the Muslims with their kirpans, and the sight of the Sikhs who had fled from Rawalpindi filled my heart with pride and greatness of Islam.
The Sikh who was my neighbour was about sixty years old and his beard had gone completely grey. Although he had barely escaped from the jaws of death, he was always laughing, displaying his teeth in the most vulgar fashion. It was evident that he was quite stupid; in the beginning he tried to draw me into his net by professions of friendship. Whenever I passed him he insisted on talking to me, I do no remember what kind of Sikh festival it was, when he sent me some sweet butter. My wife promptly gave it away to the sweepress and I did my best to have as little to do with him as I could. I snubbed him whenever I could because I knew that if I spoke a few words to him, he would be hard to shake off. Civil talk would only encourage him to become familiar. It was known to me that Sikhs drew their sustenance from foul language. Why should I soil my lips by associating with such people?!
One Sunday afternoon I was telling my wife of some anecdotes about the stupidity of the Sikhs. To prove my point, exactly at 12 o’clock, I sent my servant across to my Sikh neighbour to ask him the time. He sent back the reply, “Two minutes after 12.” I remarked to my wife, “You see, they are scared of even mentioning 12 o’clock!” We both had a hearty laugh. After this, many a time when I wanted to make an ass of my Sikh neighbour, I would ask him, “Well, Sardarji has it struck twelve?” The shameless creature would grin, baring all his teeth and answer, “Sir for us it is always striking twelve.” He would roar with laughter as if it were a great joke.
I was concerned with the safety of my children; one could never trust a Sikh and this man had fled from Rawalpindi. He was sure to have a grudge against Muslims and to be on the lookout for an opportunity to avenge himself. I had told my wife never to allow the children to go near the Sikh’s quarters. But children are children and after a few days I saw my children playing with the Sikh’s little girl, Mohini, and his other grandchildren. This child, who was barely ten years old, was beautifully formed. These wretches have beautiful and I recalled Ghulam Rasul telling me that if all the Sikh men were to leave their women behind and clear out of Punjab, there would be no need for Muslims to go to paradise in search of houris (beautiful maidens).
The truth about Sikhs was soon evident, after the thrashing at Rawalpindi, they fled like cowards to East Punjab. Her they found the Muslims weak and unprepared so they began to kill them. Hundreds of thousands of Muslims were martyred; the blood of the faithful ran in stram. Thousands of women were stripped naked and made to parade through the street. When Sikhs, fleeing from Western Punjab, came in large numbers to Delhi, it was evident that there would be trouble in the capital. I could not leave for Pakistan immediately. Consequently, I sent away my wife and children by air, with my elder brother, and entrusted my own fate to God. I could not send much luggage by air. I booked an entire railway wagon to take my furniture and belongings but on the day I was to load the wagon I got information that trains bound for Pakistan were being attacked by Sikh bands. Consequently my luggage stayed in my quarters in Delhi.
On the 15th of august, India celebrated its independence. What interest could I have in the independence of India?! I spent the day lying in bed reading Dawn and the Pakistan Times, both the papers had strong words to say about the manner in which India had gained its freedom and proved conclusively how the Hindus and British had conspired to destroy the Muslims. It was only our leader, the great Mohammed Ali Jinnah, who was able to thwart their evil designs and win Pakistan for the Muslims. The English had knuckled under because of Hindu and Sikh pressure and handed over Amritsar to India. Amritsar, as the world knows, is purely a Muslim city. Its famous Golden Mosque – or am I mixing it up with the Golden Temple?! – yes of course, the Golden Mosque there are the Jama Masjid, the Red Fort, the mausolea of Nizamuddin and Emperor Humayun, the tomb and school of Safdar Jang – just everything worthwhile bears imprints of Islamic rule. Even so this Delhi (which should really be called after its Muslim builder Shahjahan as Shahjahanabad) was to suffer the indignity of having the flag of Hindu imperialism unfurled on its ramparts.
My heart seemed rent asunder; I could have shed tears of blood. My cup of sorrow was full to the brim when I realized that Delhi, which was once the footstool of the Muslim Empire, the centre of Islamic culture and civilization, had been snatched out of our hands. Instead we were to have the desert wastes of Western Punjab, Sindh and Baluchistan inhabited by an uncouth and uncultured people. We were to go to a land where people do now know how to talk in civilized Urdu; where men wear baggy shalwars like their women folk, where they eat thick bread four pounds in weight instead of the delicate wafers we eat at home!
I steeled myself; I would have to make this sacrifice for my great leader, Jinnah, and for my new country, Pakistan. Nevertheless, the thought of having to leave Delhi was more depressing. When I emerged from my room in the evening, my Sikh neighbour bared his fangs and asked, “Brother, did you not go out to see the celebrations?” I felt like setting fire to his beard!
One morning news spread of a general massacre in old Delhi. Muslim homes were burnt in Karol Bagh; Muslim shops in Chandni Chowk were looted. This then was a sample of Hindu rule! I said to myself, “New Delhi is really an English city; Lord Mountbatten lives here as well as the Commander-in-Chief. At least in New Delhi no hand will be raised against Muslims.” With this self-assurance I started towards my office. I had to settle the business of my provident fund; I had delayed going to Pakistan in order to do so. I had only got as far as Gole Market when I ran into a Hindu colleague in the office. He said, “What on earth are you up to? Go back at once and do not come out of your house. The rioters are killing Muslims in Connaught Circus.” I hurried back home.
I had barely got to my quarters when I ran into my Sikh neighbour. He began to reassure me, “Sheikhji, do not worry! As long as I am alive no one will raise a hand against you.” I said to myself, “How much fraud is hidden behind this man’s beard?! He is obviously pleased that the Muslims are being massacred but expresses sympathy to win my confidence; or is he trying to taunt me?” I was the only Muslim living in the block, perhaps I was the only one on the road.
I did not want these people’s kindness or sympathy! I went inside my quarter and said to myself, “If I have to die, I will kill at least ten or twenty men before they get me.” I went to my room where beneath my bed I kept my double-barreled gun. I had also collected quite a hoard of cartridges. I searched the house but, but could not find the gun!
“What is huzoor (sir) looking for?” asked my faithful servant, Mohammed.
“What happened to my gun?”
He did not answer, but I could tell from the way he looked that he had either hidden it or stolen it.
“Why don’t you answer?” I asked him angrily.
Then he came out with the truth. He had stolen my gun and given it to some of his friends who were collecting arms to defend the Muslims in Daryaganj.
“We have hundreds of guns, several machine guns, ten revolvers and cannon. We will slaughter these infidels; we will roast them alive”
“No doubt with my gun you will roast the infidels in Daryaganj, but who will defend me her? I am the only Mussulan (Urdu for Muslim) amongst these savages. If I am murdered, who will answer for it?”
I persuaded him to steal his way to Daryaganj to bring back my gun and a couple of hundred cartridges. When he left I was convinced that I would never see him again. I was all alone. On the mantelpiece was a family photograph. My wife and children stared silently at me. My eyes filled with tears at the thought that I would never see them again. I was comforted with the thought that they were safe in Pakistan. Why had I been tempted by my paltry provident fund and not gone with them? I heard the crowd yelling.
“Sat Sri Akal” (Sikh salutation generally meaning "Truth and God are eternal")
“Har Har Mahadev” (Literally "In the name of god")
The yelling came closer and closer. They were rioters – the bearers of my death warrant. I was like a wounded deer, running hither and thither, with the hunters’ hounds in full pursuit. There was no escape. The door was made of very thin wood and glass panes. The rioters would smash their way in.
“Sat Sri Akal”
“Har Har Mahadev”
They were coming closer and closer; death was coming closer and closer. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. My Sikh neighbour walked in – “Sheikhji, come into my quarters at once.” Without a second thought I ran into the Sikh’s verandah and hid behind the columns. A shot hit the wall above my head. A truck drew up and about a dozen young men climbed down. Their leader had a list in his hand – “Quarter number eight – Sheikh Burhanuddin.” He read my name and ordered his gang to go ahead. They invaded my quarter and under my very eyes proceeded to destroy my home. My furniture, boxes, picture, books, druggets and carpets, even the ordinary dirty linen was carried into the truck. Robbers! Thugs! Cut-throats!
As for the Sikh, who pretended to sympathise with me, he was no less a robber than they! He was pleading with the rioters: “Gentlemen, stop! We have prior claim over our neighbour’s property. We must get our share of the loot.” He beckoned to his sons and daughters. All of them gathered to pick up whatever they could lay their hands on. One took my trousers; another, a suitcase. They even grabbed the family photograph. They took the loot to their quarters.
You bloody Sikh! If God grants me life I will settle my score with you. At this moment I cannot even protest. The rioters are armed and only a few yards away from me. If they get to know of my presence
“Please come in.”
My eyes fell on the unsheathed kirpan in the hands of the Sikh. He was inviting me to come in. The bearded monster looked more frightful after he had soiled his hands with my property. There was the glittering blade of his kirpan inviting me to my doom. There was no time to argue. The only choice was between the guns of the rioters and the saber of the Sikh. I decided, rather the kirpan of the old man than ten armed gangsters. I went into the room hesitantly, silently.
“Not here, come in further,” I went into the inner room like a goat following a butcher. The glint of the blade of the kirpan was almost blinding.
“Here you are, take your things,” said the Sikh.
He and his children put all the stuff they had pretended to loot, in front of me. His old woman said, “Son, I am sorry we were not able to save more.”
I was dumb-founded.
The gangsters had dragged out my steel chest and were trying to smash it open. “It would be simpler if we could find the keys,” said someone.
“The keys can only be found in Pakistan. That cowardly son of a filthy Muslim has decamped,” replied another.
Little Mohini answered back: “Sheikhji is not a coward. He had not run off to Pakistan.”
“Where is he blackening his face?”
“Why should he be blackening his face? He is in…” Mohini realized her mistake and stopped in her sentence. Blood mounted in her father’s face he locked me in the inside room, gave his kirpan to his son and went out to face the mob.
I do not know what exactly took place outside. I heard the sound of blows, then Mohini crying; then the Sikh yelling full-blooded abuse in Punjabi. And then a shot and the Sikh’s cry of pain “Hai!” I heard the truck engine start up and then there was petrified silence.
When I was taken out of my prison my Sikh neighbour was lying on a charpoy (bed made from the twine of jute). Beside him lay a torn bloodstained shirt. His new shirt also was oozing with blood. His son had gone to telephone for the doctor.
“Sardarji, what have you done?” I do know how those words came out of my lips. The world of hate in which had lived all these years. Lay in ruins about me.
“Sardarji, why did you do this?” I asked him again.
“Son I had a dept to pay.”
“What kind of debt?”
“In Rawalpindi there was a Muslim like you who sacrificed his life to save mine and the honour of my family.”
“What was his name, Sardarji?”
“Ghulam Rasul.”
Fate had played a cruel trick on me! The clock on the wall started to strike 1..2..3..4..5.. The Sikh turned towards the clock and smiled. He reminded me of my grandfather with his twelve-inch beard. How closely the two resembles each other! ..6..7..8..9.. We counted in silence.
He smile again. His white beard and long white hair were like a halo, effulgent with a divine light ..10..11..12.. the clock stopped striking.
I could almost hear him say: “For us Sikhs, it is always 12 o’clock!”
But the bearded lips, still smiling, were silent. And I know he was already in some distant world, where the striking of clocks counted for nothing, where violence and mockery were powerless to hurt him.
Written by Khwaja Ahmed Abbas
Translated by Khushwant Singh
Monday, March 19, 2007
Apologies II
A father kept getting complaints over his son's behaviour and each time he was brought a new episode of his fledgling's adventures each time he made the youngster go out and apologise as a way to teach him a lesson. It was quite evident to the father that the son was not getting the message as the apologies were given in vain and without much thought so the father had an idea to teach the child the hard way. He ordered the son to build a fence around the house or else risk being deprived of a shelter and food. Seeing his position weakened the young man complied and duly completed it. One could see the planks perfectly lined up with nails cleanly driven in, it was truly an accomplishment. Upon completion the young boy proceeded to his father who then mysteriously gave him the orders to take out the nails from the fences. The son could not fathom the reason for such an idea but not wanting to risk shelter and food he duly complied. Once the job was done the boy informed his father of the task. The father went out to inspect the job and asked his son, "Son, do you notice the planks?"
"Of course, they are wooden boards now and the nails have been taken out so that means in order for a strong fence to be built nails would have to be placed in new places."
"Son look at the hole where you took the nail out from. A hurtful action is much like a nail driven into a plank and an apology is like the nail being taken out. You can always fill the hole with something but you can never fill it wood. So be careful your actions will always have repercussions on others so think through otherwise you will have to take the nail out from them and it will again hurt them and leave a hole that can never be filled."
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Interesting
Forgive me with bombarding you lot with lyrics but I am going through a process whereby my creativity is being stunted because of certain factors. Also, I feel I am not as eloquent as others when it comes to poetry and writing in a moving form, prose I feel is my strength but I do foray into the poetic world every now and then and share it but such times are rare and signify an intense emotional moment but that doesn't mean I haven't tried writing more poetry, it just isn't here. Anyways I have emphasised the more significant portions from these lyrics just to make a point.
Tell you a thing
That you ought to know
Two minutes of your time
Then on you go
Tell tale of the man
All dressed in black
That most of them
Not coming back
Sent off to war
To play little games
And on their return
Can't name no names
Some strange yellow gas
Has played with their minds
Has reddened their eyes
Removed all the lies
And strange as it sounds
Death knows no bounds
How many get well
Only time will tell
Only time will tell
You lie in your death bed now
But what did you bring to the table
Brought us only holy sin
Utter trust is a deadly thing
To the prayer of holy peace
We didn't know what was lying underneath
So how could we be such fools
And to think that we thought you the answer
I can't begin to understand in all the lies
But on your death bed I can see it in you're eyes
Just as clear as all the sweat upon your brow
It really makes sense I can see it clearly now
Tangled up in a web of lies
Could have been a way to prophesies
Unaware of the consequence
Not aware of the secrets that you keep
Nothing that we could believe
To reveal the facade of faceless men
Not a thing that we could foresee
Now a sign that would tell us the outcome
You had us all strung out with promises of peace
But all along you cover plan was to deceive
Can it put to rights now only time will tell
Your prophecies will send us all to hell as well
Left to all our golden sons
All to pick up on the peace
You could have given all of them
A little chance...at least
Take the world to a better place
Given them all just a little hope
Just think what a legacy
You now...will leave
We seem destined to live in fear
And some that would say Armageddon is near
But where there's a life while there's hope
That man won't self destruct
Why can't we treat our fellow men
With more respect and a shake of their hands
But anger and loathing is rife
The death on all sides is becoming a way of life
We live in an uncertain world
Fear understanding and ignorance is leading to death
Only the corpses are left
For vultures that prey on their bones
But some are just not wanting peace
Their whole life is death and misery
The only thing that they know
Fight fire with fire life is cheap
But if they do stop to think
That man is teetering right on the brink
But do you think that they care
They benefit from death and pain and despair
Lyrics by Janick Gers and Steve Harris of Iron Maiden
Godsend
Sometimes certain things are a godsend or revelation. I'm not a big fan of Timberlake and his music but I always keep an open mind when sharing things and also when I'm trying to learn. Here is what I mean. Just something that shows how I feel at this moment though I do not wish any harm to anyone but I think it should serve as a reminder to all especially when you get someone else involved in your life that you have a responsibility to fulfill and shouldn't make others' life a joke or mockery for your whims and desires and then given into absurd excuses. Enjoy folks. Oh and the last paragraph at this site http://top40.about.com/od/singles/gr/jtwhatgoes.htm is pretty interesting.
Hey girl(girl)
is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world(world),
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away?
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you baby...
Me and you until the end, but I guess I was wrong
[Chorus]
Don't wanna think about it, don't wanna talk about it
I'm just so sick about it, Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it, feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya, tell me it's this fair?
This is the way it's really going down
Is this how we say goodbye?
I should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby cause in time you'll find...
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
Yeaaaaaah
Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now (now)
And maybe I should do the same (maybe I should do the same)
Funny thing about that is, I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you baby and now it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong...
[Chorus]
Don't wanna think about it, don't wanna talk about it
I'm just so sick about it, I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it, feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya, tell me is this way?
This is the way it's really going down
Is this how we say goodbye?
I should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby cause in time you'll find...
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
Yeaaaaaah
What goes around, comes around (comes around) yeaaaaaah
What goes around, comes around (comes around) yeaaaaaah
You should've known that...
What goes around, comes around (comes around) yeaaaaaah
What goes around, comes around (comes around) yeaaaaaah
You should've known that...
Don't wanna think about it, don't wanna talk about it
I'm just so sick about it, I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it, feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya, tell me is this fair?
This is the way it's really going down
Is this how we say goodbye?
I should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby cause in time you'll find...
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
Yeaaaaaah
Yup, yup, yup
Let me paint this picture for you baby, yup
You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call 'em
All you gets a busy tone
I heard you found out what he's doing to you
What you did to me, ain't that the way it goes?
When you cheated girl, my heart bleeded girl
So it goes without saying "you left me feeling hurt"
Just a classic case, it's a sce-sce-scenario
Tale as old as time, girl you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody to cure the lonely nights
You wished you had somebody that can come and make it right
Well girl I ain't somebody and not a sympathy (see, see)
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
(Take it to 'em eyy..)
Haha..
(Take it to 'em eyy..)
(Hey, hey, hey..)
See, you should've listened to me baby
(Take it to 'em eyy..)
(Hey, hey, hey..)
(Take it to 'em eyy..)
(Hey, hey, hey..)
Because... what goes around, come back around
Haha...
Goodbyes
Every face I see is cold as ice
Everything I touch is pale
Ever since I lost imagination
Like a stream that flows into the sea
I am lost for all eternity
Ever since you took your love away from me
Sometimes the sound of goodbye
Is louder than any drumbeat
Lyrics by Perpetuous Dreamer
"Sound of Goodbye"
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Reply to the Pain
Here is an interesting comment left on my blog. It is by an author that goes by the name "Winks" but I would imagine "Winky" would have been appropriate has a nicer sound to it. This is a much better poem than the ones I have written much more deeper and beautiful. Well hope you guys enjoy.
We lead a life where irony is visible
With each contradiction, balance seems a bit more attainable
Within these walls, we strive for happiness
While misery lurks in the shadows of this fortress
Through still nights, our cries are of ecstasy
Feeding passions with such intensity
Bodies tremble with pleasure
As souls sore beyond mortal measures
In weakness, we are like so –
From differences, a subtle pain begins to grow
Fueled by hurtful words as rivers of tears flow
But in grief, hidden affection does show
And sparks of understanding manage to glow
We lead a life perfect in imperfection
Thankful to God for such divine selection
Thus, sorrow may lie beneath poetic beauty
As hearts may feel heavy, though they are empty
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The Pain
Do not ask me for the same intensity with which I loved you once ...
I turn, I turn again and again to the pain
You are still beautiful, so beautiful
but - the pain
No Fear
Where the ritual of silence stalks,
Where no one holds his head up high,
And Fear takes nightly walks.
Faiz Ahmed Faiz
How long are you going to stand in fear and awe and not do anything? This is quite the reason why the world is in such disarray, too many people stand by and do nothing and watch gross injustice and crimes being committed quite freely. When will you take the stand? If you keep letting your fears (especially the ones based on wrong beliefs) take over then you will never be able to break the shackles and when you will it will not only be too late but also plenty of damage would have been done not only to yourself but around you too. Do not let your fears over-rule you.
Orientalism detailed
His main point is quite succinctly summed up in a quote he uses from Hugo of St. Victor, “The man who finds his homeland sweet is still a tender beginner; he to whom every soil is as his native one is already strong; but he is perfect to whom the entire world is as a foreign land.” In short the more one is able to see things from the other’s point of view the more is he liberated from his own prejudices and such that maybe tempered by past experiences and knowledge. He goes onto describe that, “The more easily, too, does one assess oneself and alien cultures with the same combination of intimacy and distance,” if Hugo’s quote is applied honestly.
Dr. Said is trying to clear our misrepresentations of certain alien cultures by trying to remove the smoke cloud around us that fogs our vision and clarity. “…the real issue is whether indeed there can be a true representation of anything, or whether and all representations, because they are representations, are embedded first in the language and then in the culture, institutions, and political ambience of the representer. If the latter alternative is the correct one (as I believe it is), then we must be prepared to accept the fact that a representation is eo ipso other things besides the “truth,” which is itself a representation.” It is quite clear what he is trying to say and in short; our prejudices regarding other cultures is based on our premonitions and hearsay at best without any concrete evidence maligning the other culture, over time this cacophony gathers some truth as it is perpetuated slowly but cancerously thereby clouding the vision of those to whom such knowledge is laid before i.e. you. As these lies and presumptions gather force over time they become the truth rather than being stated as an opinion at best or lie at worst.
Such lies and “truths” become urban legends and myths so to speak and “… a myth does not analyze or solve problems. It represents them as already analyzed and solved; that is, it presents them as already assembled images, in the way a scarecrow is assembled from bric-a-brac and then made to stand for a man. Since the image uses all material to its own end, and since by definition the myth displaces life….”
We should not look at cultures thinking that they have a pure pedigree but it is a well known and accepted reality that cultures today are a mixture and amalgamation of other cultures. Interaction with foreign entities during wars, conquests, trade etc. have left and indelible print on other cultures and then to talk about “western” and “eastern” culture seems to be really futile because each has components of the other; much like a yin-yang symbol. Said rhetorically addresses this concern, “How can one today speak of “Western civilization” except as in large measure an ideological fiction, implying a sort of detached superiority for a handful of values and ideas, none of which has much meaning outside the history of conquest, immigration, travel, and the mingling of peoples that gave the Western nations their present mixed identities? This is especially true of the United States, which today can only be described as an enormous palimpsest of different races and cultures sharing a problematic history of conquests, exterminations, and of course major cultural and political achievements.”
Orientalism is dedicated to helping us get out of this habit of generalizing unique things such as human personalities and traits through the molded lens of our eyes. Although Dr. Said uses the age old argument of East vs. West as his thesis, his principles and aphorisms can be applied quite freely in helping us interpret (or rather not misrepresent) other cultures and peoples. It is a book for the critical-thinker (I favour this term to mean those individuals who are alive and think freely without the fear of consequences for their beliefs) which is why I enjoyed it thoroughly. Highly recommended not only by me but many others who have had their eyes opened and like I said it can be applied quite easily in all walks of our life to help us understand and come to terms with foreign cultures and beings and not look at them through grimy spectacles anymore.
Friday, February 16, 2007
What is love?
The first thing about love is that it must be pure and honest and not based on lustful desires. People thinking that lustful desires count as love are erroneously led into believing something which is not. Another quality is that it must be dynamically stable, by that I mean it is changing and evolving but at the same time it is constant in love. It indeed sounds like a chemistry term and indeed I was inspired by one such term i.e. dynamic equilibrium. What I mean by this is that love will obviously change you can’t expect it to remain constant because one of the signs of life is movement and if you don’t evolve or change then you’re as good as dead. Love too has to change with the times and you can notice this in couples who have been married for a very long time and they are no longer pretty (trust me some couples aren’t at such an age, it’s just a fact of life) but their love is no longer based on looks. Physical attraction goes only so far in helping you find true love and it’s as good a measure of one’s qualities as is race, ethnicity, and educational background, bank balance, wealth etc. For these do not make a loveable character, they may certainly add to one’s appeal and charm but if you find yourself loving someone for such qualities I suggest you rethink your life and priorities. Especially, when such traits are used to overlook more genuine qualities; such as moral support, belief, sharing dreams etc.
When looking for a soul mate, I would suggest one sitting down and seriously talking to them what one expects from them, what they expect from you and what they see as a future together. There will have to be a lot of compromises and if one of you isn’t prepared to give up certain things so the other can enjoy their life just as you can then once again I would suggest you rethink everything. Is this the person you really want to be with? They can’t give up something so meaningless for you is this really how you want to spend your life with them? Nowhere is this more contentious when the two have to sit down and decide who wants to work or not and who should be a stay at home parent. That being said, be ready to give up and take in but make sure it is always well balanced otherwise there is no point in having such a relationship if you are giving up more than they are or vice versa. Love has to be balanced as well and you must be on equal footing the two of you if not like I said you have to rethink this relationship and where it is heading. Understanding in such situations has to be really acute, and one must try to be empathetic and honestly try to see things from the other’s point of view. Mark Twain said,
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small minded people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
I think that is some really good advice. If you know someone who shares your values and dreams and beliefs and would like to see you progress as well then you have found someone who has truly loved you. For instance if one of you deliberately tries to put on the other some sort of responsibility despite knowing the other isn’t very capable of handling such situations, only to see them get better through trial and error. I for instance had given this one person the responsibility of making certain choices knowing full well they had a hard time making such calls but my intention was not to see them fail or use that as an excuse to belittle them (sometimes I would poke fun but who said love has to always be a serious affair, as long as I didn’t make a big deal of it which I didn’t) but rather to see them progress as a person and advance as a human being. I wanted them to be just as good as I was at making such calls or even better if she learnt well enough. What I’m trying to say is that I found a weakness in them and I wanted her to be just as strong for herself and me in the future.
Love has to be strong as well. If your love can’t risk taking a hit then it’s not love at all maybe it’s lust then. Purely sexual and animalistic in their basis and no substance whatsoever, that person is not capable of loving when they are prepared to forgo all for fear. An interesting quote that I came across clearly delineates what I’m saying,
“True love is rare, so when you find it don't let it go just because of a barrier you can't cross.” ----- Ray Hall
Although I got this quote from someone who has hurt me a lot, but no one has ever said that you can’t learn from people who harm you too. All you have to do is keep an open mind which is part of helping oneself grow and knowing oneself and others around them. There has to be a lot of trust and faith in love too and both parties must be mature of course there will be times when one of you tends to immaturity but it happens and the other must remember the good qualities of such a person in such a time, it really helps thinking in such a way. Your love must believe in you like they believe in themselves or even more so, because if that is not the case then you two are just going through the motions. I have seen a lot of couples, especially where I hail from, just going through the motions and neither of them can compromise or come to terms because one of the partners is just too strong and wants to assert their dominance over the other. Where I come from, being dominant and having power is a good thing, and what better way to show it than to exercise such authority over someone who is weaker? Bravo! Excellent work people, you have just shown how strong you are by trampling upon some weakling but yet there are atrocities out there (some of which you hold against) being committed but yet you silently watch those and vent your frustrations at home. Now that is the sign of some truly great and strong people! Disgusting honestly. Strength is not determined by fighting the weak, rather by fighting stronger opponents and the strongest of them all; your inner self.
You can’t have love without trust. No trust, no love and no love and you’d be going through hell for quite some time. I was once briefly involved with someone and it was a long distance of sorts at the time and I had told them I was going out for salsa and naturally that would entail me dancing with other females. But that person said the best thing to me that could have been said and they said they will trust me not to mess around and I am happy to say I upheld their trust. It is not easy for one to be trusting, but saying such a thing can help both of you as it would help assails your doubts and would also help the other person feel a sense of responsibility towards their partner. I must say I learnt a great deal form that one act of faith and trust. Though things didn’t work out between us but there is no love lost she is a great friend to me now and I value her.
I told my friend that you must value your partner as a human being devoid of all label and prejudices and I think that one sentence sums it all up really. However, the keyword here is value. If you can’t appreciate what someone else brings to the table or you can’t see then it really won’t work out. This is also true conversely, if your partner can’t see you for who you are and not what you are then it’s best to move one and leave them behind. Such narrow mindedness is best observed during the Dark Ages and one must not be swallowed up because of devotion to this tunnel-visioned person.
If you feel all this and more then I could say that you are in love but that doesn’t come with its fair share of responsibilities like I have mentioned as well. Another true test for love is the pain of separation that you feel. Of course that is a risky ploy to test yourself or your partner because it is quite possible that you may lose one another in such a test but if you feel such pangs and they persist then know it that you are (or were) in love. Oh another thing is that you have to also take into consideration the two families especially when you are about to tie the knot and go the next step, because you are not marrying one person you are marrying a whole family too so you have to understand compatibility issues. Not all families will be open-minded about certain people and their qualities and like I said it is natural but then that is where you have to decide if your family has a legitimate concern or not. Race, color, ethos and so on really should not be such criteria but sadly they are. A very good friend of mine who is going through this process himself voiced his concern that his mother might be a factor in a matrimonial union. I felt it shouldn’t matter because he was going to marry the girl and not his mother marrying the girl (rhetorical question) and so dutifully I told him that it should be a non-factor. But here’s the amazing bit, his mother told him herself that he should not factor her preferences into his choice! Amazing! Mind-blowing too, I salute such parents who will sacrifice their preferences for their children. For how else can a parent prove to their child their love if they do not sacrifice?
So I hope this helps any or all of you out there and making wiser choices this day but remember if you have someone who believes in you and shares your visions and values then you have a winner. Don’t let them go because of your fear or a barrier you think you can’t cross. And above all love is a two-way street if you’re not feeling any traffic in your direction then it’s best to change lanes.
There are only four questions of value in life.
What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for? What is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same. Only love.
Don Juan DeMarco
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest ----- Mark Twain
Can you do the right thing?
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Caught up in what??!!
One must be able to take responsibility for one’s actions as long as one carried them out with their faculties fully intact and if they can’t then they must try to convince themselves at the very least of their weakness and if they can’t even do that then may God help these animals because that is what they are; beasts in essence. There is no difference between them and an animal because neither thinks; they both just react to their instincts and desires. Just as the wild lion finds a lioness to mate with and fulfills its desires such people are much the same. We have a mind for us to use and not to be abused. I will make a confession here and I am not afraid of doing so, I am depressive and bipolar (a cooler name for bipolar is manic-depressive but that’s besides the point), and unlike the stereotype I am not crazy or loony or someone on a hair-trigger, I have a temper, yes, like all the other males in my family, but that in no way makes me crazy or psychotic as some people come to think and believe of us (the “us” refers to bipolars and not the males in my family). The point I am trying to make is that during my depressive phases I would usually go on a shopping spree usually squandering money over useless items always trying to justify my purchases but the thing which I realized pretty soon is that I am going to be held accountable for my actions no matter what. To whom or what I am held accountable is a debate for all you theologists and ontologists and I dare not get into that lest I digress. But like I said it doesn’t matter how I was feeling or not, my actions ultimately come back to me and describe myself and so I should be ready to bear the consequences of my actions. Justifying my sprees on my illness was a really weak way of hiding and trying to absolve myself of the blame. We all hate being blamed for something that might be associated with us, and quite naturally, I know I don’t want to have something on my conscience to bother me for a long time. But sometimes our desire to have an alibi or an excuse is so strong we fail to see our shortcomings and if we do not see our shortcomings we will never be able to improve our situation and much less ourselves.
The first step in trying to solve a problem is acknowledging there is a problem. Then you go about searching and weighing the options but the first and most important step is to identify the problem. I can say with full confidence and that I now know how to better solve my predicament and have taken care of it.You have to ask yourself the question that are you hiding behind some fake reason or are you really acquitted of doing such.
Love Punjabi style
Jis dil andar ishq samaana, os naheen phir janaa
Torey sohney Milan hazaran, nahin yaar watana
Once a heart has absorbed love, then it will never abandon it
Thousands of beauties though cross it, never will it give in its lover
Hirs majazee, shehwat baazee, jis andar wish hondee
Har ik soorat ujalee tak key paee tabeeat bhondee
He, who has in himself lust for the temporal world and debauchery,
Is tempted by every fair face
Jis sar sir ishq da othey shehwat mool na wasdee
Jis dil hub sajan di, us wich hub naheen hark as dee
A mind full of true love cannot play host to lust and lechery,
The heart that is full of love for one’s lover, does not tend to others
Chhamm chamm teer pawan talwaareenaashiq na dar rehndey
Isq parheyz Mohammad Baksha, naheen kadel ral behndey
The pitter patter of falling arrows nor swords will frighten the true lovers
O Mohammad Bakhsh! Love and restraint can never go hand in hand
Saturday, February 03, 2007
A Million to One
Two became one
One became one and millions
One for you and millions for me
Look around don’t you see?
Six times we came
First I held out my hand
Second a touch
Never asking for much
I hurt you once
In return you hung me
Are the balances steady?
Deserved it I, maybe
I held back
But I was true
Never a lie
Begging you to stick through
You held back
A little longer than I
Met them only once
To them you were true
But not to me
Don’t you see?
How unfair you were to me
You said you loved
Your love then came fleetingly
Giving in
To a mindless whim
How unfair it is to me
My pain, you can’t feel
Like the love you claimed
Tangible things I couldn’t give
For I had just one
Belief in you
Dreamt with you your dreams
You moved on with yours intact
Or so it seems
One for you
A million of mine
That is the heart
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
A Love Tale
Mahee, mahee kookdee, maiy aapay ranjhan hoee
Ranjhan ranjhan sab koee, heer na aakhoo koee
My beloved, My beloved I call out incessantly, that I myself became Ranjha
Ranjha, Ranjha call me just that, No one dare call me Heer
This is from the story of Heer-Ranjha, a very popular folktale from the Punjab. I don’t know the whole story but just happened to come across this couplet and I thought it would be nice to share it. The story deals with the separation of two lovers much like Romeo and Juliet, where Heer is synonymous to Juliet and Ranjha to Romeo. The meaning of this couplet is to show us that due to the separation of the two lovers, Heer who has been calling out Ranjha’s name has become Ranjha by merging herself with the identity of Ranjha. Such was the love that she preferred to be called Heer no more and wanted to go by Ranjha. In other words two souls became one because of the love. That is true love. Note the initials of the two characters i.e. Heer and Ranjha, there is something striking about them and their similarity. Hope you enjoyed this foray into foreign literature.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Understanding
I understand ye
You do not understand me
Travel the world as much as you want
Understanding from one like me you can’t
Come thither to the field alone
When no one believes or understands you
Remember me
I understand you
Without understanding you are alone.
Just a few things, note the change in the language from archaic to modern if you have not guessed it then it signifies the passage of time and how the belief hasn’t changed. Someone to understand and believe in you is the best thing in the world so if it comes along, don’t give up on it because such moments come but only once. Just my way of moving on I guess.
Stop, drop and think!
We have stopped thinking. Excuses like, too much work, busy life, family problems, etc are always cited but once again are they enough to stop thinking? Think about it.
Friday, January 26, 2007
My zen saying
The biggest fire is in your heart my friend, and water can't extinguish it.
This came up whilst talking to a friend who claims to be an aquarian. I hate that astrology crap.
Sports and life
The three pillars of strength
That being said I think it is very important to go back to basics, just like a fighter who has lost a bout the first thing he does is goes and works on his basic techniques because they are the most natural and flow nicely under stress, so too must you return to your basics. Whatever they maybe in your case but the fundamentals count for a lot. Go back and see what were the basic things that kept you happy. Does reading help? Writing? Like I said it is a time of great self-evaluation and you must be willing to face these times. Which brings the next thing in line, fear. They say the only thing to fear is fear itself. Crap. Don't believe that because the only thing to fear is you fearing anything at all! In short don't be afraid to face upto the toughest things in life even fear itself. As Rocky was told "Eye of the tiger Rock, eye of the tiger!" Life is tough and God knows how tougher it can get so look at the good things in your life, a house, food, family. Those are the basics too so go back to 'em, heck run younglin run! Go back to the things that make you proud of yourself, an award, an achievement, your family history must be full of proud moments, find a source of inspiration.
I leave all you with a famous kara-te saying
"nana karogi ya-oki"
"Seven times down, eight times up"
Above all believe in yourself and find someone who believes in you too if not then I believe in you because I know it takes a strong person to make it through such a time and there will be a time when you will look back at this and say "I did good." You have to make sure that you won't regret looking back at those moments and say to yourself "Oh if only I wish I had been a lil stronger I could have pulled through that tough phase." Then it would be too late so make sure that regret doesn't linger. It happened to me and it's not a fun thing to know that there was something you could do with just a modicum of effort and you didn't do it because of the blues.
Belive in yourself, you are very worthy with what you bring to the table. So pick yourself up for the eighth time and don't be surprised if you fall for an eighth time. Then you stand up for the ninth. Move on soldier !!!