Apologies II
I had mentioned briefly about apologies earlier on this blog (click here) and their effectiveness; once again I got into thinking about this whole apologising business and how sincere people are with them but one thing kept coming back to me and that was a story I once read in a chain-mail that found my inbox. Usually I do not read through such emails thoroughly, and just pass a cursory glance over them but this one held my attention. I do not have that email with me any longer but I will try to re-tell its story as best as possible and where I have forgotten I have tried to add to make it seamless. So here goes.
A father kept getting complaints over his son's behaviour and each time he was brought a new episode of his fledgling's adventures each time he made the youngster go out and apologise as a way to teach him a lesson. It was quite evident to the father that the son was not getting the message as the apologies were given in vain and without much thought so the father had an idea to teach the child the hard way. He ordered the son to build a fence around the house or else risk being deprived of a shelter and food. Seeing his position weakened the young man complied and duly completed it. One could see the planks perfectly lined up with nails cleanly driven in, it was truly an accomplishment. Upon completion the young boy proceeded to his father who then mysteriously gave him the orders to take out the nails from the fences. The son could not fathom the reason for such an idea but not wanting to risk shelter and food he duly complied. Once the job was done the boy informed his father of the task. The father went out to inspect the job and asked his son, "Son, do you notice the planks?"
"Of course, they are wooden boards now and the nails have been taken out so that means in order for a strong fence to be built nails would have to be placed in new places."
"Son look at the hole where you took the nail out from. A hurtful action is much like a nail driven into a plank and an apology is like the nail being taken out. You can always fill the hole with something but you can never fill it wood. So be careful your actions will always have repercussions on others so think through otherwise you will have to take the nail out from them and it will again hurt them and leave a hole that can never be filled."
A father kept getting complaints over his son's behaviour and each time he was brought a new episode of his fledgling's adventures each time he made the youngster go out and apologise as a way to teach him a lesson. It was quite evident to the father that the son was not getting the message as the apologies were given in vain and without much thought so the father had an idea to teach the child the hard way. He ordered the son to build a fence around the house or else risk being deprived of a shelter and food. Seeing his position weakened the young man complied and duly completed it. One could see the planks perfectly lined up with nails cleanly driven in, it was truly an accomplishment. Upon completion the young boy proceeded to his father who then mysteriously gave him the orders to take out the nails from the fences. The son could not fathom the reason for such an idea but not wanting to risk shelter and food he duly complied. Once the job was done the boy informed his father of the task. The father went out to inspect the job and asked his son, "Son, do you notice the planks?"
"Of course, they are wooden boards now and the nails have been taken out so that means in order for a strong fence to be built nails would have to be placed in new places."
"Son look at the hole where you took the nail out from. A hurtful action is much like a nail driven into a plank and an apology is like the nail being taken out. You can always fill the hole with something but you can never fill it wood. So be careful your actions will always have repercussions on others so think through otherwise you will have to take the nail out from them and it will again hurt them and leave a hole that can never be filled."
posted by rehanmalick | 12:12 PM
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