A Love Tale

It is surprising what one can unearth if they look into the literature of another land and another time. The results can be amazing and you may find a new way of expressing yourself. So too did I come upon something amazing from Punjabi literature. Now Punjabi is a very old language dating back to the 12th century for sure when its script was made but it may have been older than that even. It is an extremely rich language and sadly I do not understand all of it but like I said I unearthed a gem. Here are a few lines I will leave you, with the English transliteration and the meaning.

Mahee, mahee kookdee, maiy aapay ranjhan hoee
Ranjhan ranjhan sab koee, heer na aakhoo koee

My beloved, My beloved I call out incessantly, that I myself became Ranjha
Ranjha, Ranjha call me just that, No one dare call me Heer

This is from the story of Heer-Ranjha, a very popular folktale from the Punjab. I don’t know the whole story but just happened to come across this couplet and I thought it would be nice to share it. The story deals with the separation of two lovers much like Romeo and Juliet, where Heer is synonymous to Juliet and Ranjha to Romeo. The meaning of this couplet is to show us that due to the separation of the two lovers, Heer who has been calling out Ranjha’s name has become Ranjha by merging herself with the identity of Ranjha. Such was the love that she preferred to be called Heer no more and wanted to go by Ranjha. In other words two souls became one because of the love. That is true love. Note the initials of the two characters i.e. Heer and Ranjha, there is something striking about them and their similarity. Hope you enjoyed this foray into foreign literature.

Understanding

Here is a poem if I would call it that, which I came up to mend my broken heart to certain extents.

I understand ye
You do not understand me
Travel the world as much as you want
Understanding from one like me you can’t
Come thither to the field alone
When no one believes or understands you
Remember me
I understand you
Without understanding you are alone.

Just a few things, note the change in the language from archaic to modern if you have not guessed it then it signifies the passage of time and how the belief hasn’t changed. Someone to understand and believe in you is the best thing in the world so if it comes along, don’t give up on it because such moments come but only once. Just my way of moving on I guess.

Stop, drop and think!

Look around you. You will see a bunch of dead corpses walking around. Moving through life jaded and glassy-eyed, not knowing why they are here or for what purpose. That is the case with most people nowadays. People move around like zombies or robots, always dancing to one tune but never knowing how to improvise when the beat changes. Most of us live a life like this, being told to do what we want by higher authorities and not stopping for once to think things over. Sad state of affairs isn’t it?

We have stopped thinking. Excuses like, too much work, busy life, family problems, etc are always cited but once again are they enough to stop thinking? Think about it.

My zen saying

Every now and then I feel a zen moment and I come up with some zen wisdom. I know it sounds funny but that's cool I don't mind that I just like what I came up with for the moment. Hope you like it too and if it sounds funny then it's a good joke.

The biggest fire is in your heart my friend, and water can't extinguish it.

This came up whilst talking to a friend who claims to be an aquarian. I hate that astrology crap.

Sports and life

Whilst talking a friend of mine on how to overcome tough times we happened to be discussing sports and how it mirrors life at times. He mentioned how life had gotten to his sports activities as well. The fact is that life and sports are very much the same in many aspects. You have a chance to prove yourself out there just like in life. Sometimes decisions will go against us by the adjudicator and sometimes for us just like "luck" (call it fate luck or whatever you fancy) in life. Once we get back home from the sports arena we will notice that the result doesn't matter there because it's just you as a person and not as a sportsman in the house. You're laurels don't mean much as long as you have the basics in place i.e. food, shelter, family, morals, values etc. So don't let life get the better of you and take those away too. You have to be strong and focused. Like the sportsman who has had a bad outing he will always come back and train his weak points again and fortify his resolve too, to not let anything go wrong the next time. There will be a next time, there always is but you have to wait and be patient for that time. When the time is right, strike it and strike it hard.

The three pillars of strength

I talked briefly about the three pillars of a strong psyche in one of my previous posts, but I was asked a very imposing question. How do you keep yourself intact when your ego takes a battering day and day out? There really isn't a hard and fast answer to this question since we are dealing with something as capricious as the human mind and emotions coupled together but there are general guidelines. In the end the fact that we all have to face at such times is that, "my truth is not your truth" i.e. what works for me may not work for you.

That being said I think it is very important to go back to basics, just like a fighter who has lost a bout the first thing he does is goes and works on his basic techniques because they are the most natural and flow nicely under stress, so too must you return to your basics. Whatever they maybe in your case but the fundamentals count for a lot. Go back and see what were the basic things that kept you happy. Does reading help? Writing? Like I said it is a time of great self-evaluation and you must be willing to face these times. Which brings the next thing in line, fear. They say the only thing to fear is fear itself. Crap. Don't believe that because the only thing to fear is you fearing anything at all! In short don't be afraid to face upto the toughest things in life even fear itself. As Rocky was told "Eye of the tiger Rock, eye of the tiger!" Life is tough and God knows how tougher it can get so look at the good things in your life, a house, food, family. Those are the basics too so go back to 'em, heck run younglin run! Go back to the things that make you proud of yourself, an award, an achievement, your family history must be full of proud moments, find a source of inspiration.

I leave all you with a famous kara-te saying

"nana karogi ya-oki"
"Seven times down, eight times up"

Above all believe in yourself and find someone who believes in you too if not then I believe in you because I know it takes a strong person to make it through such a time and there will be a time when you will look back at this and say "I did good." You have to make sure that you won't regret looking back at those moments and say to yourself "Oh if only I wish I had been a lil stronger I could have pulled through that tough phase." Then it would be too late so make sure that regret doesn't linger. It happened to me and it's not a fun thing to know that there was something you could do with just a modicum of effort and you didn't do it because of the blues.

Belive in yourself, you are very worthy with what you bring to the table. So pick yourself up for the eighth time and don't be surprised if you fall for an eighth time. Then you stand up for the ninth. Move on soldier !!!

And you thought you were such a goodie goodie

We all thrive on others' pain at times so just admit it.

VICARIOUS

Eye on the TV

'Cause tragedy thrills me

Whatever flavour

It happens to be like

Killed by the husband

Drowned by the ocean

Shot by his own son

She used the poison in his tea

And kissed him goodbye

That's my kinda story

It's no fun 'til someone dies

Don't look at me likeI am a monster

Frown out your one face

But with the other

Stare like a junkie

Into the tv

Stare like a zombie

While the mother

Holds her child

Watches him die

Hands to the sky crying

Why, oh why?

'Cause i need to watch things die

From a distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies

You all need it too, don't lie

Why can't we just admit it?

Why can't we just admit it?

We won't give pause until the blood is flowing

Neither the brave nor bold

The writers of stories sold

We won't give pause until the blood is flowing

I need to watch things die

From a good safe distance

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies

You all feel the same so

Why can't we just admit it?

Blood like rain come down

Drawn on grave and ground

Part vampire

Part warrior

Carnivore and voyeur

Stare at the transmitter

Sing to the death rattle

La, la, la, la, la, la, la-lie

Incredulous at best your desire to believe in

Angels in the hearts of men

Pull your head on out

Your head believes it give a listen

Shouldn't have to say it all again

The universe is hostile

So impersonal

Devour to survive, so it is

So it's always been

We all feed on tragedy

It's like bood to a vampire

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies

Much better you than I

Lyrics by Tool from "Vicarious"

The Trinity

No this is not going to be about some religious doctrine, I leave that to other people my job is simpler and that is to show you all a different way of looking at things. Three things very important to the survival of the human psyche; self-confidence, self-belief, and self-esteem/respect. They are the pillars upon which the human anima stands. Pull one out and the man comes crashing down, leave one out and you have an incomplete personality. Without one of them a person can be left thoroughly destablised. Each is needed, and in the right amounts, to give birth to a well-balanced human being. Why are they so important? Well for starters, when a tough time comes these are the first things that are attacked and quite brutally too. We have all heard how an experience has dented one's confidence, belief or value of themselves so it is really important that we preserve and protect these jewels of ours (men don't go about thinking of your family jewels this is a different jewel).

If you lack confidence in your ability then it is very likely that you won't be able carry out certain tasks because you think you are inadequate or whatever excuse you have but the truth is that your own low view of your abilities hampers you from going about it in a successful manner. You also need to have a good sense of your worth, and what you bring to the table in any situation, a true analysis is needed and having a low self-esteem is not helpful and does not constitute a true analysis. This also roughly translates as to how you respect yourself, because if you have a low self-esteem then chances are that you would be highly critical of yourself and just as you look down upon others who make mistake you may beat yourself to death in the same process. Above all I think self-belief is the most important, a strong belief would suffice to take anyone through any tough circumstance as long as he holds onto his beliefs. An unshakeable belief in yourself that "you can do this" helps a lot and takes one a very long way.

I do not advocate people to go over the top in their evaluations of themselves just as I would now recommend them to have a lower than actually expected value of themselves. One must sit through this time and take a good hard look at themselves and face the toughest questions in their life because nothing gets tougher than evaluating one's own self.

This post is made to all those people who are having a hard time but above all I had three people in mind when I wrote it. Their initials are as follows:

RM
IR
HI

Hope you guys find this helpful and if you do then do let me know.

The Impossible !

Here is a proof that many of you may have come across. It is nothing more than a mathematical parlour trick and is quite obviously a fallacy. See if you can spot where it all falls apart and save the math world !

let a = b
a² = ab..........................................................Multiply both sides by a
a² + a² - 2ab = ab + a² - 2ab.....................Add (a² - 2ab) to both sides
2(a² - ab) = a² - ab......................................Factor the left, and collect like terms on the right
2 = 1...............................................................Divide both sides by (a² - ab)

Amazing isn't it??!! Yet all the operations are correct there is nothing wrong with the algebra or arithmetic at all but there is one thing they overlooked, either deliberately or not, but I think it is deliberate no mathematician can be that stupid. Found it yet? Lemme give you a hint, look closely at the part where you divide both sides by (a² - ab). I hope you got it. If not then leave a comment and I will let you in on the secret but with the hint I feel you should be able to find where the fallacy lies.

Orientalism

I have been of late reading Edward Said's Orientalism, as you have noticed in my previous posts where I have referred to him on occassion. So far it has been an interesting read and quite a many of his points have been very valid despite what some literary and academic critics have said. One can not ignore the point he is making. He starts off by defining what Orientalism actually means and it is quite different from what we would normally think of words ending in "-ism". Such words usually typify something belonging to or associated with the root word in this case the Orient. However, that is not how Mr. Said defines Orientalism, he explains it as a phenomenon whereby colonising powers such as the British and French defined the Orient for themselves and the Orientals and not how the Orient actually is. In other words there was a deliberate attempt for ethnic-brainwashing if you would call it so. The Orient was represented not as it was but as it was thought to be and imagined.

The whole dynamic of this process and how it came about is what Dr. Said tries to expound in this "little" work of his (I call it "little" because the sheer vastness of this subject and the intricate relationships between the various players are both too much to be covered in a lifetime). It's a highly recommended read and if one approaches it with an open and critical mind one will find a trove of enlightenment. Happy travelling folks!

They say hearsay

Pollution and global warming are definite concerns if the human race is to survive the next few centuries but there is a greater danger in the airs that would wipe out this race within a few moments if it reaches the right, or wrong for that matter, person. In the beginning mankind had not progressed very far that we could have a language represented by symbols and hence we relied more on word-of-mouth. Nowadays word-of-mouth seems to have taken a turn for the worse. Just look all around us, the vast amounts of information available to us and we can't discern what is true from untrue. The tobacco industry is one prime example, despite everyone knowing that smoking is addictive they had a way of twisting the facts to present something completely contrary to that! Or maybe they are telling the truth?

My concern here is not the kind of information out there or the quality (or lack thereof) of it but to me it seems that we always don't stop to think and analyse critically what has just been presented to us. We have a sound mind and sound reasoning (I hope to God about the reasoning bit, I feel too many people don't exercise good judgement) so why then do we continue to let people formulate our ideas? Sometimes it is hard to separate fact from fiction and I agree it's not an easy job but it is no reason for us not to responsibly approach information.

Edward Said (I am becoming quite a fan of his) in his book Orientalism briefly touches upon something along these lines; he states that sometimes books obtain this certain aura of being the truth and nothing else, that we then tend to see whatever it is through the eyes of the book. His argument was postulating that cetain books about the Orient written by Occidents had shaped the Orient as to how the Occidental wants to view them, never for once tryign to present information in its stark nakedness but always with the prejudice of the author. He goes onto saying that an author lends even more credence to himself if his work is proven right in anyway whatsoever, thereby appropriating for himself a near immortality and infallibilty in the literature world.

This is also true for second-hand information whether it is presented in graphical form, audio/visual form etc. So what do we do to balance the scales? We need to try and not formulate any ideas beforehand and then we need to, if given the opportunity, to go out and experience it. Hearing, reading or watching something presented in a particular way, which is at the complete mercy of the material's creator, we will always be fed a judgemental piece no matter how much we know of the person's impartiality. One can't separate the orchestrator from moving the orchestra according to his inner prejudices; it is impossible to try and approach a situation without keeping in mind one's previous experiences. I am sure you have, like me, many times approached a problem in a particular way only to be confounded by it, but along comes someone else with a different approach and Voila! We have instant success. Out of the box thinking? Yes, but let us just settle for critical analysis because out of the box has become synonymous for creative thinking and not necessarily critical thinking.

Trust

Here was an intersting comment made on this very blog regarding trust. I tend to agree with it written by a very interesting personality to say the least.



"Trust no one" was the first thing that came out of my boss's mouth when I nonchalantly declined a print out of my work hours and pay rate. I suppose what triggered his response was my declaration of trust. Needless to say, I very much trusted him. His words came with a sudden realization-- is there no more room for trust in our society? Have we become so consumed with materialism to the point where the basic feelings of trust no longer matter? As long as I can remember, relationships were built on trust, not the lack there of. It seems that in the real world, however, this building block fails to exist. We are urged to question everything and trust no one. Is there room for truth when there is always doubt? I do realize that personal emotions are somewhat inappropriate in professional settings, but does this mean we have to dehumanize ourselves, thus becoming machines programmed to double check for errors? The lack of trust in our professional lives as well as personal ones robs us of trust's prominent derivative-- truth.

Most would argue that the main reason distrust is so encouraged is because most human beings would lie, cheat, or steal if they thought they could get away with it. But if this is the main reason behind instilling such doubt, then that would mean we lack the belief in the good of humanity. This is an extremely cynical approach. Shouldn't the ideal be a belief in the existence of good in each human being rather than the existence of evil? A similar model is that held by our "trusted" court system: you are essentially innocent until proven guilty. In this case, shouldn't you be trusted until proven untrustworthy? I reject, however, the idea of blind trust and rather believe that trust should be earned, which means good traits are clearly seen in a person. If so, and this person is worthy of our trust, then upholding the "trust no one" rule would be injustice towards this person.

The lack of trust in our society is rarely ever recognized as a crisis, let alone a major one. We continue to flaunt our distrust towards government, corporations, and the business world in general. While I do urge every citizen to exercise his or her freedom and think critically in questioning authority, I believe there should be some level of trust towards every person and corporation if they are worthy of such trust. If we practice logically structured thinking and questioning processes to reach an understanding or grasp the workings of the business world, we must at least place our trust in the underlying goodness at the core of every person and every organization. If we can't even acknowledge the existence of this morality, then we will never reach any ultimate truth we wish to seek in answer to our questions. We would constantly approach issues and problems with this cynical attitude of distrust. This crisis has developed as corporations have become more powerful. And today, the business world continues to gain power, yet no one seems to recognize the problem. Will it only be apparent enough when it reaches the extreme of not being able to even find trust for and within ourselves?


Hope you all enjoyed it I don't think I could have put it better. You can search for this comment elsewhere on my blog and the author is given full acknowledgement i.e. THIS IS NOT MY WORK. I have tried to give full credit to work that isn't always mine.

East vs. West

This is another age-old debate, and much longer than anyone of us can imagine, just like the battle of the two sexes. There is a fundamental difference between the two, one has arisen very naturally because of the differences in physiology, psychology etc. and the other is completely a man-made problem. For a moment just let go of all preconceived notions about "east" & "west" and "us" vs. "them", now delve on this for a bit, that who really decided what part of the world is going to be "east" and what part "west"?

Here's a thought-experiment (an hypothesis or argument that can be implemented using simple logical and deductive powers and the answer is still quite simple, just like the one I pose below as well) place a globe in between two people directly facing each other. Make one person face the globe where he can see distinctly "east" on his right side and "west" on his right side i.e. the first person will have countries like India, China, Japan on their right and countries like USA, England, Germany etc. on the other side. Now to one person it is very clear which is east and which is west but to the person who sees the other half his, "east" and "west" is quite different! His "east" will have the US, England, Germany etc. and his "west" will have India, China, Japan! Wow! Mind-blowing isn't it? I have mentioned somewhere on this blog before how things can be quite different when we change our perspective (click here).


Not convinced? Well then, if there is a geographical answer to this then my argument is; since the British Isles are also considered to be "west" then what about the countries further west of the UK but at the same time south of it? I'm talking about countries in Africa like Mauritania, Senegal, and parts of Morocco. What then of those countries that lie directly south of the European continent? Look it up in a map and you will realise what I'm saying.

Like I mentioned this problem has been with the human race for quite a long time, as there has always been a reluctance on the part of the human race to accept anything remotely "foreign". This also gives rise to racism as I have already dealt with my views on that in my other posts (click here --- click here --- click here ). Who's to blame then? Why us of course! Human beings. We are so frightened of anything foreign, that we always have to label it. I got to thinking of this thanks to Edward W. Said's landmark work Orientalism, wherein he postulates that this "us" and "them" problem came out due to European imperialism in Africa, and most of Asia. His prime examples were of the French and British empires and their colonies and the effects this conlonisation had on the indigenous peoples. In its basic essence his argument is quite correct and I agree with him wholeheartedly.True the imperialists being powerful would want to assert their authority and give the colony a distinct identity but that identity would also have deliberate elements of the colonising power. For instance, many northern-African nations speak French alongside their native tongues and to this day it is almost a requirement in most schools to learn it. The armies in the Indian subcontinet use English as their official language. So colonisation has had lingering after-effects without a doubt.

He blames mostly, the imperialists for doing this to the native people but I would like to say that the colonised people have a responsibility unto themselves to preserve their identity. Seeing the power and might of this new dominating force most of these people gave in and let themselves be used. Both the dominator and the dominated are to blame in this situation, one more than the other without a doubt.

Now that we have come so far in our development as a human race and we have enough knowledge that even the average unschooled person can be presented with this material and he would agree, I think it is time to stop this debate because the World is round and like Phileas Fogg if you keep going east you will always be traveling east but in the process you will encounter "the west" but you would still be on an eastern path. The world is round and not flat anymore, so too should our thinking be. There are no lines on a sphere, just ask a mathematician how many lines of symmetry a sphere/circle has and the answer will always be an emphatic, infinite. So let us draw the line here and drop this useless and pointless argument the label only helps us get there and once we are there the label is no longer useful as Bruce Lee had said once regarding the name of Jeet Kune Do.

In Memory of **** ***** aka *****

Others see me as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; i am someone whos constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to my head

let the blades cut you so deep and so much till they become dull

i am my own worst enemy, my thoughts control me and the desire in me to remain sane or anything remotely close to it... insanity is infact the only path to sanity itself and i have long travelled the road to nowhere. on a happier note, i love rain, daydreaming, chocolate and all the seemingly-insignificant little pleasures in life that can not be quantified or explained in words... a feeling, a smile, a look, a taste, a touch, a clear sky, a hug...Mmuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ;)

A part of you has grown in me and so, you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.

Parents and children in the third world

Where I come from and where I have grown up (they are two totally diffferent places) families are very patriarchal, as are most of the families around the world. So it comes as no surprise when I make mention of that, but there is an element in setups as such that I have experienced early on in my youth. That is of voicing one's opinion. And I mean the children in those families and not the elders. I have talked about this before on this very blog but I keep seeing the same trend over and over again that it forces me to remind everyone once again.

Too many times parents interfere in their children's lives for no good reason. True they have the best of intentions at heart for their children, very few parents are crazy enough to deliberately harm their offspring. The vast majority of parents love their children because this is the very being that they gave birth to, they nurtured it, they protected it, they taught it. So much effort gone into this one person. It's the same if the same two individuals decide to have another child. No wonder they love us so much, because they have literally poured their sweat and blood for us.

However, there does come a time when the parents must realise that they have to let go anymore nurturing and protection as it will only serve to harm the now young- adult later on in its life. I have seen parents making decisions for their children without consulting them and the children in such societies are so fearful or the blowback that they might receive from their family and the society that they give in very easily. This is a form of brainwashing I have to say, because society will be hard upon the individual then why should the family add to this burden? It's a very wrong way to "help" a child. This method serves nothing but to hamper the development of the individual and that is an infringement upon the right of that individual, because their voice has been forced to be lowered in the face of societal and familial norms. Such individuals come out as extremely confused and scared of making decisions and when puch comes to shove they will always give in. Life is going to be really hard on some individuals one day so it is better to have them be prepared for the challenges that lay ahead than have them deal with them on an impromptu basis. I have seen for myself that individuals who go by their parents' bidding always will never be willing to take a risk, will always be confused, can't make even the smallest decisions, are totally helpless and have a complete lack of self-confidence and self-belief and their self-esteem is not that high. In short they are made to believe that they do not have certain rights and can do without them despite Jenny, or John next door exercising their rights and enjoying a better view of themselves.

I know I'm going to get a lot of crap from my fellow people because to think that they have been forced into doing something, is preposterous. After all who wants to be known as a puppet even if it's their parents' puppet. It doesn't sound too good to one's ears and I agree. Rather then parents making all the decisions for their children and robbing the lil ones of the experience and confidence necessary to succeed in life it would be far better to try and offer the pros and cons of whatever is in question and allowing the young one to make the final call. After all the child will be living with that decision for the rest of his life and it is necessary for it to deal and cope with the realities of things when they go your way and especially when they don't. Plus, the parents end up robbing the children of vital analytical and decision making powers that defines key traits needed to be successful at anything in life.

I used to be under this pressure myself at one time but I am glad to have gotten out of it because I rationalised that since I will be living with most of these decisions then I should step up and take responsibility for them too. It would be ver easy to blame someone esle because of my weakness but then that is not right. Of course we do not always do the right thing we are human, nonetheless, but we are not stupid. We have a brain for some reason and it is NOT for the purpose of others' play.

Not all is to be blamed on the parents, because the children must realise at some point in their lives that their parents will no longer be living at some stage of their lives. Death is a reality and once the parents are gone who will make the decisions for them? Their spouse? Their partner? Their friends? Who? Living in a plastic world is no reason for one not to try and exert their right and achieve what they want for themselves. For this reason I really admire the western view on rearing children, they maintain a healthy balance for their children and after they have come of age they do not influence them any longer. They will guide them and show them what they think is right and how they feel they should go about it but very few would actually enforce upon the children their desires. I would like for once these backward parents to not meddle with such affairs so directly and instead guide the child. The child grew up holding your hand, it will not live its life like that for all eternity and this truth is never more truer than when you have died. Back to the youth though, they have a responsibility unto themselves for seeing that they get these rights no matter what. They will be frowned upon by their parents and possibly society but then sooner or later they all forget what you did. Your parents can't hate you for all their life, they will get over it and after all they love you so much and eventually that love will come back. It will hurt during those times thinking that you are responsible for their dismay but you are not, because their dismay is because of their beliefs and notions. As for society, well society is fickle, today they would be frowning upon you tomorrow it would be another poor individual so I wouldn't be too worried about society.

Of course there must be a balance between the two extremes, i.e. the parents taking charge or the child. Both must realise when they have to compromise and when not to. Marriage is a big issue here though, with the girl almost having no say. Although the trend is bucking, especially amongst the urbanites, but other than that generally the girl is always under immense pressure. It is unfair to her that one fine day the parents come along and say "Daughter, here's my friend's son (replace "friend" with appropriate relation). Marry him." The poor girl's wishes and dreams are never paid attention to. This is not right at all. In fact it is downright disgusting. And girls who give in don't know what rights they have as human beings and not as daughters. As human beings we all have the right to express our choices and face the consequences for those choices. So too should these young women, it is a grave disservice that is done by these parents upon their daughter. Not only that, the major religion being followed here has given those women explicit rights in such situations where the marriage can be called null and void because she was forced into it! If only people start to exert their basic human rights. If only.

Here's to lookin' at you kid

You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

This one is for you and you know who you are, painfully so do I

Lyrics by 3 Doors Down

Frailty, thy name is woman!

When we want to express something and we are lost for words I think it is best to turn to the master's of writing as no one can deny their claim to greatness. Here is what Shakespeare had to say on love in one of his sonnets. This is sonnet # 116 and tells what love is like although some commentators think this is an idealist view of love but I think quite otherwise as I will expound on it once you have had the chance to read the sonnet and digest it a bit.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Shakespeare really sets the tone in the first sentence "Let me not....impediments," where he is saying very simply that lovers who want to join in matrimony (or just be together as is the case for most relationships nowadays) will not see any obstacles in their paths i.e. impediment. From here onwards he says in no mean terms that love does not change is constant despite the diffifulties it may find; "That looks on tempests and is never shaken." Love does not wilt under the pressures of Time either when Time beckons with its "rosy lips and cheeks... Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom," in short if you love someone you will wait for them till the end of time i.e. doomsday. He gives us a disclaimer, as we are used to seeing a lot these days we shouldn't find it a surprise, at the end when he states that if all that he has said about love is wrong and is proved so as well then he has never written about love and no man has ever loved.

That was my best effort to try and read between the lines of course I had some help interpreting with various sources but this is completely my analysis and is not much different from the sources so suffice it is to say that I have captured the essence of the sonnet without altering much of its significance. Onto more pressing issues at hand and that is the heading of this post which comes from Act I, Scene ii of Hamlet.

Hamlet is by far my favourite Shakespearian play because of the wide variety of subjects it covers; deceit, loyalty, love, revenge, infidelity to name a few. It also shows the nature of human beings in a very cold and brutally honest painting, which upon examination makes us really think into saying to ourselves, "Can we really do that?" Then again that is a key feature of all of nto most of Shakespeare's plays, wherein he captures the essence of human nature without diluting it with dramatic effects.

"Frailty, thy name is woman!"

Hamlet is pissed! He is poppin' mad! He is not happy at all and definitely not in a good mood so I would suggest you to stay away from him at this juncture.

Who is he directing his displeasure?

His mother. But why?

For that we have to backtrack a bit and understand the reasons behind Hamlet's emotions. His father had passed away and Hamlet had just returned to Denmark upon his father's death and lo and behold his mother had already wed his uncle! His father's brother. Now King Claudius.

What is the significance of this juxtaposition? Love and then betrayal? If someone loves another then they wouldn't betray their love. That is utter nonsense. There are many people on this planet who do just that. Offering despicable reasons for their weakness when they wish not to acknowledge it. People in general hate to own up to their own shorcomings but are very quick to point them out in others, which is why these people have not a good sense of right and wrong.

Why anyone would betray someone I can offer insight on but why one would betray love that is not only unthinkable but really hard to reason with. Yet it happens. The only reason I can think of why such a lowly creature would do this is that they have given into their base desires and in order to fulfill them they feigned love. Once the actor or actress (read actress, because it's the most recent and vivid example I have in memory experienced either by me or someone esle and it is for them that this is written) has lured the lovestruck using love as the carrot, they so conveniently place the poor beast in the wilderness. Alone, stark naked, left to dwell and brood, the lovestruck is no longer lovestruck, rather heartbroken; hurt; agonised; played. It is a very disgusting feeling all those are. Indeed to have one's dreams come crashing down because of some whim, one is left to wonder where one went wrong. At that point one doesn't blame the other party because they like animals, in order to fulfill their primal needs did what they had to do. You can't blame a mare for trying to lure a stallion to mate because she is feeling the moment. Similarly you can't blame this animal in human form for trying to fulfill their needs which are generally sexual in nature. One only blames oneself because that is what true love is, you find fault in yourself and not at the other party. Despite being left to wonder and try to reason the heartbroken can not in their heart go against who they loved. NEVER! That is blasphemous. After all a person has truly given it their all for another one but the other one was merely in it for a joy-ride and pleasure trip.

It does happen sadly to this day. In one form or another when you hear the words "I think I'm over you,"; "I want out,"; "My parents would never accept you because of what you are associated with." The list is endless really and you are left wondering at the creativity and skill of some of these thespians. And you thought Oscars should be handed out to a select few. Here are some of the finest, in front of you practicing their art with such a skill and guise that they leave you completely in awe of the reality they create.

Of course some people who have been on the giving end would disagree with me. I ask you people one question and one only, because you don't need to prove me wrong, every rule has its exceptions so too will this one, but my query is this, "If you have not feigned and supposed love then why are you not there anymore?"

Think about it. Your reasons may not be reasons at all.

Common parlance has aptly named such people "whores" regardless of gender. Since the very nature of both's work involved is unethical, low and disgusting but yet there are people who indulge in both. But I say, Nay! They are far worse than whores. For harlots and gigolos, take money for your pleasure and not return pain. These people give back only in pain. Is there any comparison between then two? Is it fair to compare such a person to one who is noble in comparison. Fie upon them. God-Damn them! May God's curse and wrath be on these people who for basic needs taint a pure thing as love.

Of sorries, apologies and excuses

"Please, pleeeeeeeease," I begged.
"Look two phrases from the English language that I wish were never invented. I'm sorry and please."

That was a conversation I had with an elder when I was in my early teens, I was of course doing the begging. I didn't understand what he meant back then but over the years his words kept ringing in my head and slowly but gradually I understood what he was implying. I don't think he despised these phrases in and of themselves but rather I think it was to demonstrate that how easily they are abused and show lack of sincerity. I can definitely say that about apologising but I have yet to come to a solid conclusion towards begging.

I have found out even from my experiences that when people say they are sorry or they feel sorry even, they are not very honest. The phrase has been beat about very easily and people think that by saying "sorry" they are exonerated from their misdeeds and that they have reversed any pain and suffering. That is why I have mended my way of apology, I would hardly say I am sorry until I know for sure that I mean it, and if I mean it then I would certainly do something to correct the situation as a follow up to show my sincerity. I think it is really imperative that we "walk the walk" as well and not just "talk the talk". I'm not saying do not say "I am sorry," but if you really mean it then you would do something about that and goto great lengths to rectify the situation. Otherwise I would rather not hear those words come out from your mouth. If you don't mean it sincerely then don't say it, I'm not in need of a sullen apology, and I don't think anyone else is either. Rather I would really respect you if you actually did something to correct the situation which would show that you really are apologetic over what you did. Of course sometimes, there isn't much you can do to correct the situation and saying it would make a world of a difference, but I think a promise to not do it again would also show your sincerity. Also to those people who think they can send an email and apologise when they can call or meet up in person, I think the right thing to do is to try to keep it real. An email, snail mail, or word from a mutual friend is not good enough, keep those sorry excuses to yourself. If you have any honour and integrity then you would do it yourself, face to face, and you would be prepared to also go the distance and prove your sincerity.

I regret one thing to this day, and that was that I held back some important information from a dear one. I will regret it always but I am proud of the fact that I took the right and dignified steps towards reconciliation. I told them I am sorry and I told them all the information when I was in their presence. I even went to great lengths to try and show them how sorry I was, I even put it out to them that I am willing to give my life for them (not killing myself but a sort of bond that lasts forever, smart people would know what I'm getting at). It was the best I could offer at that time and like I said I am proud of how I handled the situation, of course in hindsight I could have told them the "information" earlier but I got caught up in the moment and didn't know how it break it and my limbo worsened the situation. The time came and I owned up to my mistake but I was seriously very upset at myself and like I said it is something I regret because I was thinking of myself and didn't consider how my actions would affect the other person. Selfish, indeed. I don't deny that charge, but considering that I had other ways to break the news, which includes lying, to ease the pain on the other person I still took the high road.

I don't pretend to be all righteous and dignified but I do like to atleast try and do the right thing no matter how hard it is. Sometimes I can do it and other times I can't, I'm human and I surely am not chastising anyone for being any less but I would like to see an honest effort from everyone. You can always tell which are the honest ones from the fake ones. The fake one is always going to be the excuse.

To Kill a Mockingbird and the X-rated Autobiography

Just to prove my point against racism I will use two pieces of literature that have established the case against bigotry. One of them is Ms. Lee's Pulitzer Prize winner, To Kill a Mockingbird. Set in the 60's this novel still offers us much insight into the thinking of the world then, but like I said much hasn't changed to this day. It also gives us some hope in thinking and believing that someone out there, like Atticus Finch, believes in his morals more than some societal norm that has been imposed on the free-thinking mind and thus poisoned the whole body into believing and acting out such a heinous crime against a fellow human being. Lee shows us that it is possible for even a six year-old like Scout Finch, to come to her sense so early in her development, and see that racism is not the right thing. Despite, overwhelming proof that the accused, Tom Robinson, innocent the prejudiced jury, indicts him of the rape accusation! What injustice, but it doesn't stop there, the local community tries to shun the Finches for supporting Robinson, and that is to be expected from such a backward society. The kids were threatened and so was the judge later on in the novel as we find out but here is the thing, the kids do not waver in their belief nor does Mr. Finch. They still believe in what they do and are ready to stand by their belief.

Now that was a fictional account of what the author might like to see in this world of ours. Sadly, not all fiction comes close to reality, although some do and some fictional pieces are inspired by true events. But to see; hear; and believe, in a living proof is so much better for the faith of people. That is why I chose Malcolm X's autobiography. So we all can't be left thinking, "Well yeah that's a fake story, it doesn't happen in real life like that, no kid would be that mature so soon." So in order to silence those who won't take the former I present this latter case. TIME rates it as one of the ten most important nonfiction books of the 20th century. I think it should be in the top ten lists for all time to come. It shows how a juvenile coped with the injustices and inequities placed on him by society and at no fault of his own. Malcolm aspired to be a lawyer and was a topper in his school days (there goes the stereotype that African-Americans are not very smart as were protrayed in numerous cartoons) and to this dream he got the reply, "Malcolm, one of life's first needs is for us to be realistic. Don't misunderstand me, now. We all like you here, you know that. But you've got to be realistic about being a nigger. A lawyer— that's no realistic goal for a nigger. You need to think about something you can be. " Crushing isn't it? Today if we said to a space-loving child, "Son you can't be an astronaut," that would leave him crushed and devoid of hope. People would be outraged. Malcolm understood the full implication of the statement, and so he turned to a life of crime in his youth. He soon got caught and was thrown into the cellars to do time.

During his time in jail he had an awakening of sorts and found that the Nation of Islam was a way that african-americans can obtain their sense of pride. So he read and read during his time in jail and acquainted himself with as much knowledge as possible regarding this new phenomenon. He was very successful at the NOI, but the NOI preached more of an anti-white agenda than a pro-black one. This meant that most of NOI memebers if not all were anti-white and thus bigots themselves. Circumstances were such that Malcolm was able to travel to Africa and then to Saudi Arabia where he was able to perform the annual pilgramage known as the Hajj. That experience in Makkah opened his eyes and he saw that what the NOI was preaching was not the true Islam, because over here in Makkah he saw people from all different races and colors were interacting freely and vibrantly without any prejudice. At that point he converted to mainstream Islam and dropped the anti-white agenda and started looking for more ways to integrate and tolerate each other. So powerful was his belief in this new faith that he changed himself and even regretted some incidents from his life. as is show from the following quotes

"I realized racism isn't just a black and white problem. It's brought bloodbaths to about every nation on earth at one time or another."
"Brother, remember the time that white college girl came into the restaurant -- the one who wanted to help the Muslims and the whites get together -- and I told her there wasn't a ghost of a chance and she went away crying?"
"Well, I've lived to regret that incident. In many parts of the African continent I saw white students helping black people. Something like this kills a lot of argument. I did many things as a [black] Muslim that I'm sorry for now. I was a zombie then -- like all [black] Muslims -- I was hypnotized, pointed in a certain direction and told to march. Well, I guess a man's entitled to make a fool of himself if he's ready to pay the cost. It cost me twelve years."
"That was a bad scene, brother. The sickness and madness of those days -- I'm glad to be free of them."

So I have presented to you two cases, one true and one not so. Both have a lesson, and I know one can't or might not ever come true, i.e. the novel, but literature is written to get people to think. To evoke thoughts and set the mind free once again that has been so pressured by society and what we call norms into accepting certain blatant crimes. We still have time, we can take solace in Scout Finch's example and teach our children to see the truth. Or we can take a page from Malcolm's book and note that it doesn't matter what age you are all you have to do is keep an open mind. If you believe in either of these literary pieces then you should also ascribe to my beliefs, but if you don't well then, like I mentioned previously (see my previous post, "I HAD a dream, sadly") then you are indeed lost.

So keep an open mind and take a stand for what you believe. I don't know what is worse; to stand by and watch atrocities as they happen or to partake in them. But I know this for sure, atleast one of them has stronger beliefs and they will always be strong believers no matter what side they are on. So try to win the strong ones, because the weak ones will follow like meek sheep. You and only you can be the judge of what side you want to be on.

I know what side I am on, it took me a while to get there and I had to overcome my previous beliefs because of the same indoctrination that a lot of us go through, but I know now I am not better than anyone because I belong to a certain group, color, race etc. You are better only in righteousness and that's what makes us humans and not beasts. We can think and reason.

I leave you with a few interesting quotes

"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." ----- Malcolm X

"Many times I had said to my own assistants that anyone in a position to discipline others must be able to take disciplining himself." ----- Malcolm X

"The meek do not inherit the earth unless they are prepared to fight for their meekness." ----- Harold Laski

All Malcolm X and related quotes are obtained from The Autobiography of Malcolm X written by Alex Haley ghost-writing for Malcolm X.

How strong are you?

It is said that the measure of one's strength can roughly be judged by how hard a time they have went through. Well partially it's true. It's not complete though, there are a few things I would like to add. Since I am going through a very torrid time in my life these days, (there's more to it than just my heartbreak episode) I have been trying to gather my strength; and I mean mentally and not physically. During tough times or when faced with tough situations one will always come out stronger. Doesn't matter what the outcome was you always learn it and as we all know experience can be a bit of a bitch at times, as they say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger is true during these times too. But you come out as a changed person nonetheless, the experience can leave you scarred and for sometime too, but how strong you really are depends on how you maintain your integrity and previous values. Ok some values need to change, like bigotry, hate, depression etc. the ones that are negative and don't do you any world of good. But a lot of us come out cynical as well at times. The idea is not to compromise on the desirable values that you had previously, becuse if you do then you have not only lost but you have also you have proven that you are weak because you wilted in the wind. Some of these cynics do realise that their attitude isn't a model one, but then again you have to take into account what they have been through and as always time will heal them and show them the way once again, but it's quite commendable that atleast they see their mistake. But those people who despite facing tough situations do not change their values for the better and still hold onto their previous ignorance despite being shown otherwise, they will never be strong this way.

Tough times never last but tough people do. That is true too. One must always learn from the worst of experiences, because once that is gone you will look back at it and wish you had tried to make the most of it. I know I have regretted not learning because I would be much better mentally at this juncture of my life. That being said I am now not letting go of this experience and trying to extract as much juice as I can and hopefully pass it down onto someone else who maybe going through a tough time and most importantly apply it when the next sign of choppy weather hits my radars.

So all I have to say is to always believe in yourself and have confidence because these phases pass out but also try to keep your honour and integrity because you may lose out the experience but losing out on those virtues and you may never get them back.

I HAD a dream, sadly

Today is Martin Luther King Day. Yes that MLK who had a “dream”. That MLK who fought for equality. That MLK who believed in one thing. That MLK who lived his dream. That MLK who also died his dream.

People would say that we have come a long way since his days and, that we are progressing and have left those dark days behind.

Bullshit!

We are not any better off and all his efforts have gone in vain! So has his life and death. A lot of you may disagree with me but the truth is that we still have not come to tolerate anyone different. Always the “different one” is shrouded in mystery and myth and a pack of no good lies! People have not made an honest effort to try and understand those that are different. Whether people are different because of color, race, religion, disability, or any such thing that makes them “different”; people have not moved forward. Despite us entering the 21st century with great fervor and excitement this one issue has always dampened the outlook of humanity. I know so because of experience and therefore I do not talk sham talk.

Born in one place, raised in another foreign country I was always the target of this bigotry. Although I would say that I have not received any direct comments like those who have during the middle part of the last century, but I did feel the prejudice in the policies of that nation. The attitude of the people towards us and those like us, despite it being a religious center, that religion that is totally against racism with quotes from its holy tome and history to prove that. But here’s another funny side of things; since I was an expatriate kid, I wasn’t even looked upon very nicely in my home country! Since I had it better than most kids there (I admit I had it better but I don’t see the crime) I was again blacklisted and not thought very highly especially in those departments where my fellow countrymen were supposed to excel. Sports, mathematics etc. the list is quite endless but the idea here is that they didn’t feel I was worthy of even comparison. Whatever I did was shot down or looked down upon because I had it better and was not a true blue resident of the country.

“You don’t live here so you can’t talk about how this nation should operate.”
“Yeah well you don’t know the history of this nation like I do.”

Wow! I was blown away to hear such talk. Not only was it not true but it was also not the right attitude. If I was unaware of the history of my nation then why don’t you take the time out to educate me? If you love it so much you should be willing to teach one who doesn’t know. But apparently that was not the case. People are lazy by nature and don’t like to make an effort but this also showed to me that when push would come to shove these people would not be the best to help out.

Not only that, within this despicable nation, there are several states, much like California, New York etc. but within these states is much animosity and hatred. The kind of urban legends floating around the country regarding each people is horrendous and a bunch of tomfoolery. The whole idea of this nation to come into being was that people could co-exist as one nation but people are also very selfish and so really very few people have been able to come out of this bigotry. Those who have don’t want to go back and I don’t blame them because I hate this nation very much myself. I have not gained much but ridicule in my life because of who I am but yet I am patriotic and hope for the day that this nation and all other nations can rise above the differences.

I have written about this briefly before on this blog. Then I said we should not let our prejudices overtake our decision making faculties. I still stand by that, because I understand that as human beings we have this tendency to group people, by race, color, religion, region etc. but that is no reason for not thinking right! I know I have my perceptions of a people as does everyone else but when I meet someone from that group I am talking to that person and that person only! So why would I need to think about generalities when I am dealing with an individual case here? Why would you need to do that? The truth is we don’t. We classify for our convenience so we can remember quirks and traits of a group but when dealing with a person there is more to that person than those traits even if those traits are true. Quite often than not, those stereotypes are not true and are usually urban legends. As Bruce Lee said in trying to formulate the ultimate martial art, his Jeet Kune do an art that defies traditional styles and is all encompassing, an art that welcomes other arts but rejects none a sort of non-racist martial art in its approach to combat; anyways he was asked if the name mattered. He put it very rightly, that the name doesn’t matter it is only a boat to cross the river and once you reach the other end of the river you leave the boat behind. What he meant is that the art doesn’t matter, he always emphasized the individual over the art, and said that a combat art should be focused on the individual and not the art itself, a name is for convenience only. Much like our current problem. We have names for all the people and what makes them unique but the name only goes so far, once we reach the river-bed i.e. the person, we should discard the boat and focus on the individual.

My real reason for venting though is that I have lost someone really dear to me because of this bullshit. Just because I am different I could not be with them. It was thought as a nice idea to have race, as a criteria to judge people and I was left shocked to know that this kind of crap still lingers on to this day, and now I can’t be blessed by that person’s presence because of a thoughtless whim. I was also shocked to know that, the people involved have had considerable experience in interacting with others from different cultures and backgrounds, in their daily lives. I thought maybe that interacting with different people would change the perspective but apparently not! Funny thing is that their religious ethos are broken in this process. It also appalls me (and breaks my heart to know) that noone would take a stand and say something. I'm not asking people to be angels but I would like to see people give up on major wrongs, especially where one wrongs the other, and bigotry is one of those wrongs. So much for the Good Samaritan law and way to go planet earth!

I can’t change who I am or what I was born as, but I know I can change my beliefs, and so can you. So it’s time to take a stand against this kind of attitude and really stomp it out. Well that’s that and nothing can be done though if people don’t want to change so I will pray for these blind souls to see the light. I hate these god-damned racists and wish that God does damn them but I wish even MORE that they would see their folly. Hating is not the answer and doesn’t solve anything because then after all we would be involved in bigotry as well (see the flipside of life?) but, if they don’t see their mistake then there isn’t much one can do for such a soul but feel sorry and pray for them because they are indeed like sheep without a shepherd. I don’t feel sorry for myself for being at the receiving end, and neither should you if you have been in my situation, but feel sorry for the lost ones.

What's goin on here??!

I know many of you who know me are reading and thinking "What's with all the lyrics and the sentimentality?" Well simply putt my love life is taking a beating at the moment. So I've been listening to songs that reflect my mood generally. So bear with me I will hopefully get back to the no bullshit way of talking (that is if I have come off as that sort of a writer from my earlier posts, but that's what I intended really) sometime.

Days go by

You
You
You
You

You are still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin

You leave me when I'm at my worst
Feeling as if I've been cursed
Bitter cold within

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you
Without you

You are still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin

You leave me when I'm at my worst
Feeling as if I've been cursed
Bitter cold within

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you
Without you

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you

Lyrics by Dirty Vegas

Mistreated

This is what happens when one has been mistreated and their trust has been abused. Once again I couldn't have put it in better words and Dio's voice adds the emotion. Seriously some of you should look into listening to Dio and you would realise how powerful that man's voice is.

I've been mistreated, I've been abused.

I've been struck downhearted, baby, I've been confused

'cause I know, yes, I know I've been mistreated.

Since my baby left me I've been losing my mind, you know I have.

I've been lonely, I've been cold.

I've been looking for a woman to have and hold

'cause I know, yes, I know I've been mistreated.

Since my baby left me I've been losing,

I've been losing,I've been losing my mind, baby baby babe.

I've been mistreated, I've been abused.I

've been looking for a woman, yeh,

I've been confused'cause I know, yes, I know I've been mistreated, ooh o-o-oh.

Since my baby left me I've been losing, losing,I've been losing my mind, baby baby babe.

Oh oh oh, oh woman, oh woman, oh woman.

I've been losing my mind.

See what you think of that.

Lyrics by David Coverdale and Richie Blackmore

Hamlet reincarnated

Here is a small piece I did for someone and which received some good reviews. I was to take a classic piece of literature, in this case, Amleth-Prince of Denmark, the inspiration for Shakespeare's Hamlet, and portray a modern version of it. So here it goes.

Modernizing of an Ancient Tale - Amleth, Prince of Denmark

The room fell suddenly silent to the clinking of a fork against the champagne glass and halted everyone's thoughts momentarily.
"I would like to announce that Harold and I will be getting married!"
Everyone paused and regained their senses and applauded as the ripple grew to thunder, in the living room of the Henderson's. All this while Artlett, the only son of the Henderson's, watched the proceedings agape and in utter shock and disbelief. Everyone clamored around Fergie Henderson soon to be Fergie McCormick of Harold McCormick. Joshua Henderson, the previous spouse of Mrs. Fergie, had been recently divorced and was a successful auditor at his firm who had worked his way through every obstacle and climbed every rung on the ladder to reach to the top but that came at a price; the price of family. Little Artlett always visited home during the vacations from college and noticed that things did not feel the same. His parents always smiled and put on a good show but he later discovered that they were going through a horrid time and by then Artlett was too late to influence anything as the divorce papers had been inked in and everything was now "official" as the judge put it. So began a new life for Artie, as he was affectionately known, traversing between "mom" and "dad" during his vacation days, which were more torturous than the pop quizzes he received for organic chemistry. The marriage was a shocker, not that he didn't expect his parents to move on, but that Harold was his dad's old partner! He cringed at the thoughts running through his mind. It was not a very good picture. Joshua still had not married nor was dating anyone, he was far too heartbroken by his divorce and the day he took his vows was still fresh in his memory like the morning dew.
"Congratulations, Artie!"
"What for? I haven't taken part in this, this .." said Artie, despite his best efforts to find that one elusive word.
Mess! What a mess! This is total BS, completely insane! How can she do this to dad?! He has always been so loyal to her! What did she find in that Harold? Not honor. Nor beauty. Prestige he has not. A bastard! I never liked him from the moment I laid my eyes on him. He always resembled a weasel. Bastard!
"Artie," Michelle interrupted.
"Huh. Yeah?" replied Artie as he made his way down to reality from his thoughts.
"You ok? You don't look so good."
"Umm yeah I will be fine. Thanks for looking after me but I need some alone time now."
"Ok if you need me then you know where to find me."
"Thanks Michelle."
With that he left the house and stepped out into the black night. There was no moon this night and why should there be? 'Twas a dark night in his life. This marriage had snuck upon him like a wolf pouncing on its prey. He felt sick and confused. Out he popped a Marlboro and lit it; took one deep draw, held the smoke in and felt it unraveling in his chest and let out a thin stream of white that faded away into the darkness. He tried to follow the smoke but like his thoughts it was everywhere and to grasp it, even mentally, would be a tough task. Always quick and fiery, at barely eighteen, Artie had grown a reputation of one with a short fuse, although not the strongest in terms of physicality but nonetheless intimidating. Being a loner did not help his temper either as it would always feed on itself and eventually on Artie but he would always make a good act of hiding it around people, he was intensely private. He motioned towards his mom's Volvo and checked to see if it was unlocked.
Yes!
He sat in the car and smoked away and started to play sleuth to keep his mind away. Nothing could help his mind as this was the Volvo dad had taught him to drive in and was the Volvo that was gifted to his mother on her birthday.
Aaaaaaaah!
Artie slapped the steering wheel hard in an attempt to control his rage. His mother had asked him what he thought of Harold.
"He seems like a fine guy mom."Fine guy my ass! How did he not see that coming?! He blamed himself and wished he could have said otherwise. He began to sift thru the car some more but then realized suddenly that there were many "man" things in the car. Hard rock CDs, football team air fresheners, and resigned himself to the fact that his mother had given the car to Harold. This was not going to be easy on Artie.

The End

Let me hear what you think of this.

Nice guys finish last part II

Here is another take on why nice guys finish last, albeit a different view than the earlier post.

Nice Guys Finish Last.
(True) To every guy that walks on the outside of a sidewalk.
To every guy that cooks dinner for her.
(True) To every guy that regrets hurting her.
(True) To every guy who knows which girl he wants.
To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."
(True) To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
(True) To every guy who has given her flowers (read chocolates) just because.
(True) To every guy that said he would die for her.
(True) To every guy that really would.
(True) To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
To every guy that cried in front of her.
(True) To every guy that she cried in front of.
(True) To every guy that holds hands with her.
(True) To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
(True) To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
(True) To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up.
(True) To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
(True) To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
(True) To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
(True) To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
(True) To every guy who told his secrets to her.
(True) To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
(True) To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
(True) To every guy that believed in her dreams.
(True) To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
(True) To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
(True) To every guy that walked her to her car.
(True) To every guy that wasn't just trying to get laid.
(True) To every guy that actually listened.
(VERY True) To every guy that gave his heart only to have it shoved back in his face.
(VERY VERY True) TO EVERY GUY THAT PRAYS THAT SHE IS HAPPY EVEN IF HE IS NOT WITH HER.

I found this list on the net but I added the parentheses at the beginning to tell which I have had the opportunity to experience. The others I haven't had a chance to experience not because I did want to but that circumstances prevented me from some of it. All being said, nice guys finish last because they are nice and they are taken granted for, because everyone knows no matter what the nice guy will always be nice and it's not his nature to be evil or malignant. So to all those nice guys out there keep staying nice and doesn't matter what do not give up being nice because if you do then you would be trading an important characteristic for nothing. I know i'm gonna stick to being a nice guy, let people around me change and compromise their judgements for what is right and what is wrong.